


Cherry Cultivation

by bengsi



Category: 30歳まで童貞だと魔法使いになれるらしい | Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?! (TV), 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Background Jiang Cheng/Wen Qing - Freeform, Background Lan Xichen/Meng Yao, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, and cameos from a lot of other characters, background Jiāng Yànlí/Jīn Zixuān, but mainly it's just lan zhan's indecent thoughts and wei ying's inability to handle this, does this count as a fix it fic? possibly, featuring bff wen qing and a yunmeng sibling reunion, the beginning is just straight up cherry magic AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:53:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29569908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bengsi/pseuds/bengsi
Summary: On his 30th birthday, Wei Wuxian finds himself in a crowded elevator next to Lan Zhan, and soon he realizes two things:1. that there seems to be some truth to that ridiculous urban legend about 30-year-old virgins being able to hear the thoughts of other people as soon as they touch.2. that Lan Zhan works out, AND that he thinks that Wei Wuxian smells good and has an adorable bed-head.And no, Wei Wuxian has no idea what to do with this information.(a.k.a. Cherry Magic AU where Adachi is Wei Ying who’s been in a coma and therefore didn’t have the opportunity to date in his 20s and Kurosawa is a slightly more stoic Lan Zhan who has somewhat less PG-13 fantasies but otherwise is pretty much the same.)
Relationships: Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn
Comments: 224
Kudos: 453





	1. Chapter 1

“I work here! I’ve  _ been _ working here for the last three months!” Wei Wuxian stared at the man in front of him, who was refusing to let him pass through the turnstile. “Come on, you gotta recognize me, we’ve been nodding at each other every single morning! This doesn’t ring a bell?” He pressed his lips into a smile and made finger guns.

“Sorry,” the security guard said, his arms crossed. “If you can’t show some ID, I can’t let you in. It’s protocol.”

Wei Wuxian looked at the man’s name tag (thank  _ god  _ for name tags). “Look, Su She. You seem like a good person. Can’t we look past that teensy, weensy detail just this once? I’ll be the first to admit I made a mistake when I forgot it at home, but you’d save my life. I’d owe you. Please?” Wei Wuxian gave him about 72% of his brightest smile (it was an artform, okay), which usually put people in a better mood. 

Unfortunately, it seemed the guard was chronically crabby, because his frown stayed put. “Sorry,” he repeated, not at all sounding like he meant it. “No can do. Please move aside.”

Ugh. This morning was the worst––first Wei Wuxian had overslept, there hadn’t been time for breakfast, and now this. “Come on! It’s a thirty minute ride, _one_ _way_! I _really_ can’t be late! Please, just call up to the reception and they can confirm what I’ve been say––”

“Hanguang-Jun!” the guard said, looking behind Wei Wuxian, and bowed his head. The exasperated look on his face was exchanged for raised eyebrows and an artificial smile. “Good morning, sir!”

“Good morning.”

Ugh.  _ Great.  _

Wei Wuxian was just about to be caught by the nephew of the CEO himself, a man who just so happened to be the  _ biggest _ fan of protocol. He’d probably printed the company’s policies and framed them on the walls of his office. Now Wei Wuxian would have to go home for sure, and he was pretty sure his lateness was going to lead to a stern talking to in private with his manager.

He turned around. Unlike Wei Wuxian, who hadn’t even had the chance to run a brush through his hair this morning, Lan Zhan looked as if he’d stepped out of a photoshoot from a magazine. In other words, his usual, casual look.

“Heeeeey, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian said in what he hoped was a smooth tone, brightening his smile to 92%. Sure, it had never worked on Lan Zhan before, but there was a first for everything, right?

Lan Zhan ignored Wei Wuxian as he looked at the security guard and said, “What is going on here?” 

“Nothing, nothing!” Wei Wuxian said, casually leaning against the turnstile, waving his hand.

“This man claims he works here, but he has no ID card, so––”

“I  _ have  _ an ID card, I just don’t have it  _ with _ m––” Wei Wuxian objected, but they were both cut off.

“Let him through,” Lan Zhan interrupted, looking at the guard.

“Wait, what?” Wei Wuxian said.

“But, sir, proto––” the man started. Lan Zhan kept looking at him without a word. Wei Wuxian remembered that look––he’d been getting a lot of those back in high school. 

“Um, yes, of course,” the guard said and pressed a button. The turnstile’s light turned green, and though Wei Wuxian wasn’t really sure how or why, he was able to pass through. (Okay, he sort of stumbled very gracefully, because as it happened, he was still casually leaning against it.)

“Um, thank you,” he said as soon as he’d gotten back on his feet, pretending that he had Meant To Do That.

“Of course,” Lan Zhan answered, stone faced as always. His eyes lingered judgingly on Wei Wuxian’s hair, and Wei Wuxian automatically raised his hand to press down the hair strands that were no doubt rebelling against gravity. 

“I know, I really need a haircut,” he grinned. 

Lan Zhan’s lips tightened, so he obviously agreed. However, all he said was, “Have a good day.” He said it the way you say, “Your root canal treatment has been scheduled for 3 p.m. tomorrow.” Then he walked off, leaving Wei Wuxian standing in front of the elevators.

“You, too!” he called out after him.

Okay, that was … weird. 

Sure, Lan Zhan had been about as chatty as ever, but the version of him Wei Wuxian had known in high school would just have left him standing outside without a word, or possibly scolded him for being both late and careless enough to forget his ID. 

Admittedly, people could change in 12-or-so years, and Wei Wuxian had interacted with the grown-up Lan Zhan like  _ once _ in the months he’d been working here (and the only reason for that was probably because there had been alcohol involved). Still, Lan Zhan being decent felt just … wrong. At least back when he had been unaware of normal social norms, it had been easier for Wei Wuxian to put up with how ridiculously good-looking, rich and generally favoured by the universe he was. 

“Morning!” Mianmian smiled at him as he entered the office.

“Morning!” he echoed with a smile.

“Hey, Wei Wuxian!” Lan Jingyi said from behind a bunch of binders. “Let’s get lunch together, yeah?”

“Yeah, sure! How d’you guys feel about hot pot?”

After having said hi to most of his co-workers, Wei Wuxian made his way to his cubicle, and started his computer. Within 30 seconds, Wen Chao appeared. “Do you know what time it is, Wei Ying?” he asked.

“As a matter of fact, I  _ do _ ,” he answered chirpily. “But I understand that some people struggle with the clock’s long and short hands, and won’t put it against you.”

Wen Chao pursed his lips. Luckily, as a grown-up it wasn’t as easy for him to get people to gang up on Wei Wuxian whenever his comments upset him (… which was, you know, daily). 

“You know, I covered for you when old man Lan came snooping––you might wanna consider how you treat your seniors at this company,” Wen Chao said as a thinly veiled threat, because, less luckily, the grown-up Wen Chao basically had Wei Wuxian’s fate at this company in his hand, and maybe it  _ was _ about time that Wei Wuxian learned to control his mouth. Like, had he been 17, he wouldn’t have cared, but now he had bills to pay.

Seeing that he’d managed to shut Wei Wuxian up, Wen Chao added with a grin, “Anyway, I heard your 30th is coming up, that true?”

“Mm, yeah,” Wei Wuxian said, feeling like maybe this wasn’t the time to tell Wen Chao, no, you’re definitely  _ not  _ invited to my birthday party.

“Congrats, man! So what’s the plan, you celebrating big time or what?”

“Um, no, I’m probably just gonna have dinner with a few friends.”

Wen Chao raised his eyebrows. “What? No party for the infamous Wei Ying? From what I remem––”

Wei Wuxian smiled, “Yeah, well, we can’t stay 17 forever, can we?”

“But dinner for your 30th birthday, though? You’re turning 30, not 65. At least ask someone over for some Netflix and chill after, am I right? Pretty sure Mianmian wouldn’t turn down an offer like that.” He winked. “I saw you two just now.”

Wei Wuxian’s smile faded. Some people obviously  _ didn’t  _ change––Wen Chao was the same sleazy douche he’d been back in high school. “If you cared enough to actually talk to her, you’d know she’s married and has a kid.”

Wen Chao shrugged. “And that’s a problem why?”

Wei Wuxian was a second from asking  _ Why don’t you ask  _ your  _ wife and see what she says,  _ but decided against it (sometimes being a responsible grown-up sucked). Instead he just turned around and opened his mailbox.

“Well, someone else, then. Susu? A-Jing? A-Yan? Hell, even A-Ding might do if you don’t look too closely at her face.”

With pursed lips, he said, “As much as I appreciate your concern about my love life, I’d prefer if you stayed out of it.”

For a moment, this seemed to have shut Wen Chao up. Until …

“Wait,” Wen Chao said. “Woooah. You  _ have _ , you know, done it, since after your coma thing, right?” He waved his hands, as if that would specify what he couldn’t put into words.

Wei Wuxian pressed his lips together. Trust Wen Chao to be so blunt about it, referring to the most traumatic and life-changing incident of Wei Wuxian’s life as  _ your coma thing _ . “Not that it’s any of your business,” Wei Wuxian said, “but yeah, of course.” He continued typing at the computer, though he wasn’t really sure what he was writing at this point.

Ugh. Now  _ he  _ was the one falling back into his old high school habits of lying to not seem like a total loser.

Wen Chao laughed. “Phew, that’s a relief. Otherwise you’d pretty much have reclaimed your V card, am I right? Did you know there’s this urban legend that if you’re a virgin at 30, you turn into a wizard who can read people’s minds?”

Wei Wuxian stared at him. “That is literally the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” he said, fed up with the conversation. “Can we stop talking and just work, please?”

Wen Chao shrugged, and rolled away on his chair.

Wei Wuxian tried to focus on the numbers on the screen, but they all blurred together. Okay, the truth was that tomorrow he  _ would  _ be a 30-year-old virgin. It sounded surreal, even to him, but there it was. 

See, what people didn’t seem to grip about being in a coma for almost a year was that it was nothing like in the movies. You didn’t just wake up from it, perfectly fine and good to go as if nothing had happened. No, it had been weeks before he’d even started processing memories again and he realized he was awake, and alone. And then, after that, years of relearning everything most people took for granted, like eating on your own, controlling your body, learning to walk again––not exactly something to put in your Tinder profile. Sure, after a _lot_ of hard work, he’d finally been able to catch up on things that his peers had finished a long time ago, like college. But no matter how many people he’d surrounded himself with, he’d never felt more lonely. In the end, he’d just admitted defeat and stayed in his room as much as possible.

As for _before_ the accident … well, he might have been acting like he was hooking up with girls every weekend, but in reality, the only action he’d ever gotten was during a game of Seven Minutes of Heaven back in high school––and he didn’t even know who it had been with. Not that it mattered. Even though the person had been extremely enthusiastic at the time (Wei Wuxian had been pinned to the wall for most of it, which he’d quite enjoyed, once the shock had worn off), Wei Wuxian doubted that she’d be interested if she’d seen him now. 

Nope. If there was any truth to that idiotic urban legend, he was pretty sure he’d be able to read minds for the rest of his life. But hey, at least it’d be a cool party trick.

***

_ Happy birthday, Wei Ying! Hope you’ll have a great day––see you tonight! _

Wei Wuxian smiled as he woke up to a text from his three favourite people, with a picture of them attached. It was obvious that Wen Qing was the one who had orchestrated it, as Wen Ning looked slightly uncomfortable and only half-awake, and even though A-Yuan had put on a polite smile, Wei Wuxian could recognize the embarrassed teenager behind it.

🙏 🙏 🙏, he wrote back.

He’d also received a short message from Nie Huaisang, keeping up the tradition of contacting him once a year on his birthday, even though they hadn’t really seen each other since high school, and then there was the recurring anonymous birthday card in the mail, so neatly written that it was impossible to decipher who it could be from. It was probably Wen Qing again, trying to make it seem like more people cared, as Wei Wuxian knew her to be a big softy deep, deep,  _ deep _ down.

Brushing his teeth in front of the mirror, he tried to see if something had changed since yesterday, as if turning 30 would somehow magically turn him into an adult with everything under control. But no, it was still the same face looking back at him, slightly gauntier than back when he was a teenager and with a redness in his eyes that might have to do with him staying up too late every night. At least he didn’t have any wrinkles yet, and he still had to show ID every time he bought alcohol. It was the small wins, you know.

Walking through the city, he noticed that people, despite it being quite early, seemed to be unusually chatty this morning.

“Oh no, puh- _ lease _ , walk as if you have nowhere to be and take up the entire sidewalk!” a woman in her twenties said to the group of tourists in front of them as she pushed past Wei Wuxian. No filters, that one. She seemed like the sort of person whose last words would be,  _ What are you gonna do? Stab me?  _ (Which he must admit he respected.)

A teenaged girl next to him giggled, and “accidentally” walked into him, shamelessly loudly saying to someone, “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, that has to be the  _ cutest  _ guy I’ve ever seen.” She must have had the latest of the latest wireless earbuds, because he couldn’t even see them.

“Thank you!” he called out after her, which made her blush like a tomato.

Standing by a crosswalk, a small old man with windblown white hair started singing, _ “I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date! No time to say ‘Hello’, goodbye! I'm late! I'm late! I'm late! I'm late!” _

Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but turn and grin at him. Good for him, not caring about walking down the crowded road that everyone else seemed so obsessed with. 

But, he realized, he must’ve looked at the wrong person, because the old man’s mouth wasn’t moving. Only … all the others around them were too young. Weird. Was it maybe someone’s ringtone? Huh. The lights turned, and as people started moving, the singing stopped. Well, sort of––the tune was now stuck in  _ his  _ head. Damnit, he’d be humming on it all day now.

Finally, after having to deal with  _ a lot  _ of uncharacteristically rude people and at least two ventriloquists, he made it into the Cloud Recesses Inc. office building. With a proud smile, he showed his ID to the security guard (whose name he’d now forgotten), who gave him a bored nod as he beeped him through.

Waiting outside the elevators, the previous morning seemed to repeat itself, and he was again accompanied by Lan Zhan, who looked as if he was going to an awards show in his tailored gray suit, vest and light blue shirt. (In comparison, Wei Wuxian was using the same creased black suit he’d been wearing since he’d started at the company, and he’d just realized there was a stain on the one “clean” shirt he’d found in the clothing pile this morning.)

“Good morning,” Lan Zhan said.

“We gotta stop meeting like this,” Wei Wuxian teased, but it was met by a straight, unimpressed face. “That was a joke, Lan Zhan. Even if you don’t find it funny, you could at least humour me.”

Lan Zhan just glanced at him, and then looked away. Right. Wei Wuxian had to remember that they weren’t in high school anymore, and maybe it was a bad idea to tease the nephew of the CEO of the only company that had even bothered with calling him back for an interview after sending out hundreds of resumes.

… buuut on the other hand, it was too much fun seeing his lips tense just slightly, and the miniscule scorn in his eyes that he at least nowadays tried to hide.

They fell silent, as Wei Wuxian had never been a morning person, and Lan Zhan had never been a people person.

But then, just as uncharacteristically as his nice gesture yesterday, Lan Zhan said, “Today is your birthday, is it not?”

“Um, yeah?” Wei Wuxian said, confused as to why Lan Zhan would know that.

“Congratulations,” he said, with a look that said  _ my condolences. _

Wei Wuxian stared for a second too long. “Thanks,” he mumbled, while he tried to decide if it was normal for people to remember other people’s birthdays (yes), and if it was normal for Lan Zhan to remember other people’s birthdays (no). 

Like, when Wei Wuxian turned 16, Lan Zhan’s gift had been to let him erase all the obscene words in the library books  _ by hand,  _ whereas three months later, when Lan Zhan turned 16, Wei Wuxian had made the entire cafeteria stand up and sing for him. 

Hm … maybe Lan Zhan was just hoping to avoid having the same thing happen here at work in three months’ time? Wei Wuxian started weighing pros and cons of getting their co-workers to get up super early just so that they could surprise Lan Zhan when he walked through the office doors (why  _ was  _ he here this late two days in a row, by the way?).

Quite a lot of people had gathered outside the elevators, and as the doors opened with a  _ bing,  _ people started pushing, and soon Wei Wuxian found himself pressed between the inner wall and Lan Zhan’s arm. Ugh. You could feel even through the layers of fabric that he was one of those annoying people who worked out regularly, not because of a doctor’s orders, or because they enjoyed it, but because it was  _ good  _ for you.

_ Oh, god,  _ Lan Zhan said. Wei Wuxian didn’t even have to look at him to know what was wrong––he’d never liked crowded places. However, it  _ was  _ a bit unusual for him to be so verbal about it.  _ Alright, don’t panic,  _ Lan Zhan continued.  _ Deep breaths. You can do this.  _

Wei Wuxian frowned, and couldn’t help but look at him. Had Lan Zhan’s people aversion turned into agoraphobia or something? Would Wei Wuxian have to help him off the elevator at the next floor before he started hyperventilating?

_ Oh, no, he’s looking. Look away, look away. _

Wei Wuxian went from confused to more confused. That was  _ obviously  _ Lan Zhan’s voice, but his lips weren’t moving. Almost as if … 

Okay, WHAT was going on? Was he being pranked? Was this Wen Chao’s idea of a hilarious birthday surprise for him––for everyone to act as if that extremely stupid urban legend of hearing other people’s thoughts had come true?

“Haha, very f––” Wei Wuxian started, but was cut off. 

_ Alright, focus. DON’T think about that beautiful bed-head, or those lips, or what it would be like to push that body against the wall …  _ Lan Zhan pulled away momentarily, and the stream-of-consciousness stopped.

Wei Wuxian tried to think. Even IF this was a prank, there was NO WAY Lan Zhan would have agreed to this. Not in a million years would he have recorded himself saying anything even close to stuff like that. And HOW would Wen Chao have orchestrated ALL those people on Wei Wuxian’s way to work as being part of the plan? It was impossible.

… which only left one other solution.

Wei Wuxian’s brain had finally given up completely, and these were belated coma-induced auditory hallucinations.

They were strangely specific, though. And WHY would his brain fantasize about hearing Lan Zhan thinking about some girl? Was there even someone in here? Qin Su maybe? (Oh, god, Wei Wuxian was looking for logic in his hallucinations. What a great birthday this was turning out to be.) He still looked around. There were a couple of girls around their age in there, but none of them had messy hair, and frankly, they didn’t seem like the type of girl Lan Zhan would be interested in, as they weren’t the first female president slash Nobel Peace Prize winners slash Victoria’s Secret models who enjoyed talking about non-fiction books and the pros and cons of different kinds of pension plans.

Someone made their way out of the elevator on the next floor, and two more people joined them, leaving Lan Zhan pressed even closer to Wei Wuxian, his face just a few inches from Wei Wuxian’s neck. Wei Wuxian felt his throat go dry. 

Hm. He should probably drink more water.

_Oh, god, oh, god, oh, god,_ _I can’t do this. Fuck, he smells so good, and the crook of his neck looks so soft and biteable and oh my god I need to get out of here before––_ And then Lan Zhan pulled himself away and got off two floors below their offices.

Wei Wuxian was left in a haze.

_ He. His.  _ Those had been male pronouns. And the only male close enough for Lan Zhan to think those things about had been …

… what? Had––had Lan Zhan been thinking about …?

Stumbling out of the elevator two floors up, Wei Wuxian caught a look of himself in a glass window. His hair was pointing in several directions, because once again he’d forgotten to brush it after waking up.

The words “beautiful bed-head” echoed in his mind.

_ What. The. Fuck. _

Not only had he just hallucinated that he had heard that someone liked him through their THOUGHTS.

No, for some reason, his brain had decided that that someone should be no other than  _ LAN FUCKING ZHAN. _


	2. Chapter 2

Wei Wuxian considered telling Wen Qing about the turn of events. Not that she as a physiotherapist had any expertise in brain damage caused by comas, but she was the only health-professional he trusted.

But no. All she’d do would be to tell him to go seek help, and that wasn’t happening.

Hopefully, if he got enough sleep tonight, this would go away on its own. Yes. He was probably just over-worked – Wen Chao _had_ been pushing him a lot lately, dumping his work onto Wei Wuxian and threatening to tell their boss about Wei Wuxian’s minor slip-ups, such as the number of times he’d been late, or, you know, him being responsible for the 24-hour-long black-out his first week there, as he had fumbled with a coffee mug and accidentally spilled its content on top of a poorly placed power strip, which had maybe made many of his co-workers lose days’ worth of work, but honestly, that wouldn’t have happened if they had just remembered to press _save_ every now and again. (Also, he _had_ helped design a new cloud-based network that would prevent the same thing from happening again, along with a much better security system, so he kind of thought those cancelled each other out.)

… anyway. He was distracted as he entered the office, where Lan Jingyi made most of their co-workers sing _Happy Birthday_ , while Mianmian was holding a small cupcake with a lit candle and a spiced caffè triplo in a takeaway mug. He felt weirdly self-conscious as he always did when people showed their appreciation for him, but hid it with a happy grin and a promise to take them out to dinner at some point.

When Wei Wuxian came to his cubicle, Wen Chao was waiting with a huge folder that he slammed onto Wei Wuxian’s desk.

“The boss wants it done by tomorrow morning,” he said.

“But I have plans toni–” Wei Wuxian started. Wen Chao just raised his eyebrows and glanced at his takeaway coffee, and Wei Wuxian sighed. “Fine.” It wasn’t that he was opposed to working hard, just that he was opposed to doing both his own work AND all of the work of an asshole like Wen Chao. But he really couldn’t afford to lose this job. Like, _really._ After his bills and debts had been paid off each month, all he could afford was spicy noodles. If he got kicked out of here, he’d end up on the streets again. “I’ll do it.”

“Great!” Wen Chao said. He grabbed Wei Wuxian’s birthday cupcake, threw away the candle and shoved the dessert into his mouth. “Have it on my desk by eight a.m. sharp tomorrow morning!” he continued, chewing with his mouth open.

Wei Wuxian mumbled to himself, “Why don’t you find something sharp and sit on it?” 

“Huh?”

“On it!”

Several hours later, he was awakened by someone gently clearing their throat. Oh, no. He’d fallen asleep and missed out on at least 30 minutes of getting this finished. Not good.

“Wei Wuxian,” Lan Zhan said, in a surprisingly soft voice. “Should you not be headed home? It is late.” He had his coat over his arm, ready to do the same.

“Yeah, but um, I need to get this done,” Wei Wuxian said groggily, rubbing his eyes.

Lan Zhan frowned a little. “Is that the client statistics report? I thought Wen Chao was doing that.”

“Yeah, well, I’m helping him.” He blinked aggressively, trying to wake himself up.

Lan Zhan pursed his lips at the statement, then wordlessly offered him an iced coffee. 

“Oh, no, that’s okay.” Wei Wuxian didn’t want to leech off of anyone, least of all Lan Zhan.

Lan Zhan kept his hand held out, insisting.

Wei Wuxian _was_ in dire need of more caffeine if he was going to survive this night. “Um, thanks.” 

As Wei Wuxian reached out his hand to grab it, their fingers touched, and Wei Wuxian could hear him think, _May he never find out that I don’t drink caffeine and bought that specifically for him._

Wei Wuxian was startled, and quickly retracted his fingers, dropping the drink to the floor. Luckily, the lid was still on, and it landed far away from any electrical devices.

Lan Zhan bent down to pick it up. After placing it on his desk, he asked in a low tone of voice, “Would you like me to help?”

Wei Wuxian stared at him. “Oh, no, there’s no need! Go home, I wouldn’t wanna bother you and ruin your night too!”

Lan Zhan looked straight at him, which had some sort of weird effect on Wei Wuxian’s inner organs that he couldn’t quite explain. Maybe he was hungry.

“It would not be a bother,” Lan Zhan said. “You know what? You will need more data than what is in the folder. I will go get the statistics from previous years, so we have something to compare it with.”

While he waited, Wei Wuxian chugged the iced coffee and tried to understand what was going on. 

WHY was Lan Zhan helping him? 

WHY was he hallucinating hearing thoughts that the real Lan Zhan would frankly NEVER think? 

WAS that the most words he’d ever heard coming out of Lan Zhan’s mouth at the same time?

As they continued to work on the data together (it went a lot faster with Lan Zhan helping), Wei Wuxian almost managed to forget the whole hearing-other-people’s-thoughts thing, because Lan Zhan kept his distance for the rest of the night. 

Well, that was until he heard Wei Wuxian’s stomach growl, disappeared for fifteen minutes, and returned with birthday noodles, which made Wei Wuxian feel strangely soft inside. 

After Wei Wuxian had devoured the longevity noodle whole (after today, he didn’t want to take any chances when it came to superstitions), Lan Zhan wordlessly pointed at the corner of his own mouth, to indicate that Wei Wuxian had something there. This was followed by an image of Lan Zhan reaching forward and gently removing the piece of chive that had gotten stuck, and then the same finger traced Wei Wuxian’s lips and the crook of his neck and a birthmark that Wei Wuxian had never seen himself and –

Wei Wuxian realized their shoes were touching, and quickly stood up, pulling away. (Honestly, how did that even count as touching when there were two layers of leather in between? If he was going to have hallucinations, couldn’t they at least _make sense?_ )

“Are you alright?” Lan Zhan asked.

“Mm-hmm. Just need the, uh, bathroom,” Wei Wuxian said and fled the scene.

In the bathroom, he splashed his face with cold water. He was overworked, that was the only reason for this happening. He just needed a good night’s sleep, he thought, as he splashed some water on his neck, too, only to realize …

Damn.

That birthmark, that he’d never noticed himself, but he had hallucinated Lan Zhan thinking about, was sitting right there on his neck.

So, the question was, what were the chances of hallucinating a birthmark in the exact same spot as in the real world? Slim, Wei Wuxian guessed.

He groaned.

But it _had_ to be a hallucination, because there was NO way this whole hearing-people’s-thoughts scenario was real. He must’ve seen that birthmark at some point and then forgotten all about it until now. He _had_ a very crappy memory, after all.

Right?

He groaned again, because he also knew that even with severe brain damage, his imagination wouldn’t have been able to concoct something like this, which mean that there was a chance this whole thing actually was real, and that in turn meant the man waiting for him by his desk was _actually interested_ in him and HOW THE HELL WAS WEI WUXIAN SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH THAT??

Returning to his desk, Lan Zhan said, “All done. I have sent the complete report to your email.”

“Um, thanks.” Wei Wuxian faked a yawn, which quickly turned into a real one.

“Of course.” Lan Zhan got up and grabbed his coat, and they headed down the elevator.

“So, um, see you tomorrow,” Wei Wuxian said, as they stood outside the office building. “Gotta head home.” He pointed vaguely with his thumb behind him, itching to leave. 

Lan Zhan knitted his brows together. “Is your train still running?”

Wei Wuxian looked at his phone, and realized he had missed the last train with about forty minutes. He groaned. Just great. What a perfect ending to a perfect day. “Ugh. I guess I’ll just find an all-night café or something and crash there.”

Lan Zhan was quiet. “Why don’t you come home with me?” he finally said. “You can sleep on my sofa. I was getting a taxi anyway.”

“Um,” Wei Wuxian said, considering the offer, but also the images and thoughts he’d seen and heard today. “Thanks, but I wouldn’t wanna bother you.”

“It’s not a bother,” Lan Zhan said, just like before.

It wasn’t real, Wei Wuxian told himself, just hallucinations. It had to be. As if the esteemed jade of Gusu High would be interested in _him –_ he’d never even seen him smile at him, for crying out loud.

And it _would_ be hell sleeping in a café, so a couch did sound a lot better than that. 

“Well, um, okay then.” Wei Wuxian turned around, but made sure he kept his distance.

As they waited for a cab to turn up, Wei Wuxian realized he was shaking from both the cold and being really tired – he hadn’t thought about grabbing a jacket this morning, as he’d been too busy remembering his ID.

“Here,” Lan Zhan said, offering him his coat.

“Oh, n–” Wei Wuxian started, but Lan Zhan had already placed the coat around his shoulders. 

Doing so, his fingers brushed against him, and Wei Wuxian was showered with images of Lan Zhan pulling him close to warm him up, and –

“Thanks!” Wei Wuxian interrupted, taking a step back. He pulled the coat closer around him, like a protective layer, only to notice that it smelled like Lan Zhan’s cologne. He couldn’t help but pull the rich aroma into his lungs, before he realized what he was doing, and that Lan Zhan was watching him do it with a look that Wei Wuxian couldn’t decipher.

Luckily, that’s when a cab showed up and saved him from having to address whatever the hell had just happened.

Despite being all wound up, Wei Wuxian managed to fall half-asleep in the cab, because his exhaustion beat his nerves. As the car pulled up to Lan Zhan’s building, Lan Zhan said in a low tone of voice, “We are here.”

Groggily, Wei Wuxian stumbled out of the cab, and before he knew it, Lan Zhan was on the other side, supporting his arm. _Breath normally. In, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, out, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Ignore how cute he is when he’s sleepy. Ignore that you want to pick him up and carry him the rest of the way. Ignore that you want to lock him up in your apartment and never let him go. Ignore –_ Wei Wuxian took a step to the side. Lan Zhan waited for him to steady himself, then proceeded to walk up to the entrance of his apartment building.

Oh god. If … if despite all common sense and logic, this somehow _was_ real, and Lan Zhan actually _was_ attracted to him – then what if Wei Wuxian was giving him the wrong idea right now? What if … what if he was reading something into Wei Wuxian coming back with him, and he’d try to do something once they were in his apartment? For a moment, Wei Wuxian considered bolting, but he realized he didn’t have the energy to wander an unknown part of the city in the hunt for a place that was open and would let him sleep there without kicking him out.

He followed Lan Zhan into the old and sombre building, into the smallest and oldest elevator Wei Wuxian had ever seen. He had to press himself into the corner in order to not touch Lan Zhan – looking ridiculous in the process, no doubt.

The apartment looked exactly the way Wei Wuxian had expected it – minimally decorated, with natural hues of wood, green and blue. The only surprises were a guqin in the middle of the room, and a cage with two white bunnies in them.

“Oh my god, Hanguang-Jun likes bunnies?” Wei Wuxian grinned, momentarily forgetting about the day’s previous events. “Give me a sec, I need to process this.”

Lan Zhan looked as if he already regretted having invited Wei Wuxian over.

“Sorry, it’s just cute, is all. What are their names?”

Lan Zhan cleared his throat. “Bichen and Sizhui.” He mumbled something about preparing a bath for Wei Wuxian, and ignored his protests.

As Lan Zhan disappeared, Wei Wuxian picked up one of the bunnies, and walked closer to the guqin. Around it were papers of hand-scribbled sheet music without any title, but as Wei Wuxian quietly started whistling the melody, Lan Zhan was suddenly there. Hastily he scrambled the papers together, putting them in a neat-looking box, and then grabbed the bunny.

“Sorry, it isn’t … it’s not done,” he said, staring at the floor, earlobes burning red. The bunny was pressed tightly to his chest.

He looked adorable like that, like a small child holding onto a stuffed animal. Then Wei Wuxian put two and two together. “Wait, you’re saying _you_ wrote it?” he asked.

Lan Zhan nodded as he put the bunny back into its cage.

“Wow, I didn’t know you liked music, too!” Wei Wuxian said, like a fool, only to realize that Lan Zhan had been in the school band all through high school. “I mean … of course you do, I just didn’t think about it ‘cause I only picked up the interest after the, um … . Anyway,” he said, trying to steer away from the subject, “I thought I recognized it, but I must’ve been wrong.”

“Mm,” was all Lan Zhan said, and once again, they were saved from the embarrassment by external forces, this time in the form of Lan Zhan’s phone, telling him the bath should be ready by now. “Here,” he said, handing over a towel and a pair of pajamas.

_He recognized it? He recognized it?! How? That must have meant he was conscious when I sang it, and when I told him – Oh god. What if he remembers, and has just been avoiding telling me because he is too –_

Before Wei Wuxian had the chance to hear the rest of it, Lan Zhan had pulled away. 

Wei Wuxian quickly escaped to the bathroom, trying to organize his thoughts and feelings. ‘ _That must have meant he was conscious.'_ Had Lan Zhan visited him in the hospital during the coma? _Why?_

Well, if Wei Wuxian continued to ignore logic and instead listened to the ludicrous thoughts of the man in the other room, there was a pretty obvious reason.

Wei Wuxian took a deep breath. Okay. Let’s say this was real. Let’s say the esteemed Hanguang-Jun actually liked him, for whatever reason. That Wei Wuxian hadn’t imagined the whole thing. He _had_ offered to help him several times in the last few days, after all. (Actually, if he really thought about it, ever since he started working with him three months ago.)

Did that mean … did that mean Lan Zhan had liked him already back in high school? 

No, that made no sense. The 15-year-old library aide that was Lan Zhan had _despised_ Wei Wuxian ever since he first set foot in the library, as a part of his detention for taking things a bit too far whilst debating for drug legalization. Lan Zhan had told him as much, with daily glares, and one time verbally, when Wei Wuxian had managed to get him to click a link to an X rated webpage. So no, definitely not.

Okay, either way, the past didn’t matter. What mattered was right here, right now. And right here, right now, Wei Wuxian was in the apartment of a man who for some reason seemed to have fallen for him. And Wei Wuxian was still terrified. And possibly slightly intrigued. 

Wait, no, what? NOT intrigued. Flattered, absolutely, but NOT intrigued. He wasn’t interested in men. Sure, Lan Zhan was ridiculously good-looking, but anyone with functioning eyes could see that. That didn’t mean – he stopped himself from finishing the thought.

Drying his hair with the towel and putting on the pajamas, Wei Wuxian took several deep breaths. He was going to go out there, get some sleep, and then leave and pretend none of this had ever happened. Yes. That’s what he was going to do.

When he came back into the living room, Lan Zhan had just put the bedding on the sofa. When he saw Wei Wuxian, it was as if he froze for a second or two, before he slowly swallowed. “Um, I should …” he said without finishing the sentence, which must’ve been a first, and left for the bathroom too. As he brushed past him in the doorway, Wei Wuxian could see himself from an outsider’s perspective, the water dripping sensually from his hair, and suddenly he and Lan Zhan were both in the bathtub and –

Wei Wuxian swallowed as the image abruptly disappeared along with Lan Zhan. Now it was him that was frozen, for some reason. 

Remember the plan, he told himself after several seconds of confusion and strange bodily reactions. He hurried to the sofa, and pressed his eyes together pretending to sleep. But it was only pretend though, because twenty minutes later when Lan Zhan returned, he was still wide awake, unable to get that bathtub scene off his retina.

With horror, he heard Lan Zhan walking closer. What … what was he doing? Oh, god, _was he leaning over him and why did Wei Wuxian all of a sudden have butterflies in his stomach and –_

Lan Zhan grabbed his cell phone from the sofa table, and quietly left the room. 

Wei Wuxian, on the other hand, spent the rest of the night trying to decipher what the HELL just had happened, and WHY he hadn’t been entirely against it.


	3. Chapter 3

“Good morning,” Lan Zhan said, as the smell of newly cooked breakfast and three different alarms finally brought Wei Wuxian back to the land of the living.

Lan Zhan was already dressed for work, whereas Wei Wuxian felt his hair pointing in every direction, and a _very_ sexy spot of dried saliva on his cheek. Not that he needed to be sexy. In fact, what better way than to let Lan Zhan see the real him to stop this silly infatuation of his? 

Wei Wuxian discreetly wiped away the saliva before walking up to the table. 

He couldn’t help but to call out an impressed “wow” as he saw all the dishes in front of him – soy milk and deep fried dough sticks, steamed buns, tofu pudding, congee, and pancakes with eggs – and as he did, Lan Zhan smiled a _stupidly_ adorable smile that somehow made the world a slightly better place, and Wei Wuxian forgot how to properly human for a second or two. Like, what even _was_ that? No man who looked as intimidating as him when not smiling should be able to be that adorable when he did. Wei Wuxian’s stomach did that same weird thing again, and he started to think maybe it _wasn’t_ because he was experiencing some basic human nutritional sensation.

Wei Wuxian _had_ been planning to leave straight away, but there was no way he’d leave a breakfast like this. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time someone had cooked him breakfast, other than the disgusting puddings he’d been served at the hospital. It must’ve been when Shijie was still –

He sat down and stuffed his mouth with congee to distract himself from finishing that thought.

“Oh my gaaaawg,” he mumbled as he tasted the spicy rice porridge, and then let out an embarrassingly suggestive moan. He had transcended into another realm. Greedily, he grabbed some of the other dishes, and they all tasted just as good. “Ugh, this is amazing!” He’d never taken Lan Zhan to be someone who liked spicy food as much as he did. Well, to be fair, he’d never met anyone who liked spicy food as much as he did.

Lan Zhan looked pleased, but all he said was, “You should not talk while you eat – you might choke.”

Wei Wuxian rolled his eyes. “Do you always have this many dishes in the morning? And you still manage to be on time every day?”

Rather than answering, Lan Zhan just said, “Coffee?”

Wei Wuxian nodded, and held up his mug. As Lan Zhan poured coffee into it, their fingers accidentally touched. _Thank god he has never been too good at paying attention, or he would notice that I’m not eating any of it. As if anyone but him could stomach that much spice._ Lan Zhan pulled away the pot.

Wei Wuxian coughed as he almost inhaled a fried dough stick. What? He’d made the food spicy just for Wei Wuxian’s sake?!

Lan Zhan smiled a little again, as if to say, _See what happens when you eat and talk at the same time?_ and Wei Wuxian’s body once again had some weird reaction that wasn’t entirely opposed to it.

WHAT WAS GOING ON?

***

That night, Wei Wuxian was at his wit’s end. He had a stronger need than ever to talk to his shijie, but instead, he found himself on the Wens’ doorstep.

“Wei Ying!” Wen Qing said as she opened the door. 

“Hey!” he said and hugged her before he made his way inside.

“Where _were_ you last night?” she said, shoving him a little. “We tried calling, but there was no answer.” She lowered her voice a little. “You had A-Ning worried sick, you know.”

“Shit, sorry!” he said when he realized he’d failed to remember their plans. “I totally forgot! I had to work late, and um, ended up spending the night at a coworker’s place. Which, is, um, what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Oh?” She looked at him, probably trying to decipher what he’d just said, but just then, Wen Ning came to the door, too, followed by A-Yuan. 

“Hey, gu–” Wei Wuxian started, and then he was busy feeling his guts turn inside out, as a fourth creature followed – a scruffy looking beast of a dog that came rushing towards him.

“What’s wrong?” Wen Ning said, looking worried.

“ _D-dog_ ,” Wei Wuxian whispered without taking a breath. The room seemed smaller all of a sudden, and it felt as if something heavy was pressing down on his chest.

“He’s completely harmless,” Wen Qing said, though her crossed arms didn’t exactly convey any ecstatic emotions on her part.

“I found her running around in the park,” Wen Ning said. “I couldn’t find her owner, so I took her back here.”

Wei Wuxian didn’t answer, nor did he take his eyes off the creature. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust the Wens, he just couldn’t help it. In fact, he had a hard time stopping himself from running out the door.

“Wei Wuxian?” Wen Ning said.

Wei Wuxian barely heard him.

“Fairy,” A-Yuan said in a low tone of voice. “Come here.” He reached out his hand, gently took the beast by its collar, and led into the nearest bedroom. Only when the door was closed did Wei Wuxian’s vision stop being blurry.

“Sorry, I had no idea,” Wen Qing said.

“Are you okay, Uncle Wei?” A-Yuan said, a worried look on his face.

Even though his heart was still pounding, Wei Wuxian made himself laugh and said, “Yeah, no worries. Now, I heard a rumour there’d be cake, is that true?” He ignored Wen Qing’s investigatory look.

“Um, yes,” Wen Ning answered. “We made it ourselves. But is it really okay to eat it today? It’s not your birthday anymore.”

“A-Ning, stop being superstitious, you’re way too old to believe stuff like that,” Wen Qing said. “The worst thing that’ll happen is that he’ll get a stomachache from all that frosting.”

Wei Wuxian stiffened. On the one hand, he didn’t wanna risk it, but on the other – _cake._ “You know what, I’m perfectly happy calling it an unbirthday cake,” he said.

A-Yuan put on some tea, and Wei Wuxian got some unbirthday presents – a bottle of Emperor’s Smile from Wen Ning, a book with memory training exercises from Wen Qing, and from A-Yuan he got a collection of hot spices from around the world. Then they talked some more about _Fairy_ (honestly, some people shouldn’t be allowed to name animals) and the owner they (mostly Wen Qing) were trying to find, while eating the surprisingly good cake (kitchen-related tasks weren’t usually Wen Ning’s strong suit).

“Okay, can we talk about something else?” Wei Wuxian finally said when he was fed up with the subject of dogs. “A-Yuan, tell me something exciting that’s happened since last time.”

“I got an A on my English exam,” he said with a faint smile.

“Okay, that’s obviously great, but I said _exciting._ Like, do you have a crush, or have you finally gotten detention for something?”

A-Yuan shook his head, looking a bit embarrassed.

Wei Wuxian sighed. “Well, you still have two more years to go before graduating, there’s still plenty of time.”

“Wei Ying!” Wen Qing said.

Wei Wuxian ignored her. “Wen Ning, what about you? Did you join the archery club yet?”

Wen Ning shyly shook his head. 

“Why not? You’d kick all of their asses, you know that,” he said.

“I need to focus on my studies,” Wen Ning mumbled.

“Why? No one cares about your academic results once you start applying for jobs.”

“Wei Ying!” Wen Qing said again, slapping his arm. “Some role model you are.”

He shrugged. “You’re enough of a role model for the both of us, they don’t need me to be, too.”

She rolled her eyes. “Didn’t you two have a video game you didn’t want to leave?” she asked her brother and nephew. Only A-Yuan took the hint, but he quickly got Wen Ning to join him.

“I am going to ignore that,” Wen Qing said when they were alone in the kitchen, “as long as you tell me about why you ditched us last night.”

“Right.” Wei Wuxian sort of regretted telling her anything now. But he needed advice, or this situation would never end. “So, um, the coworker that I talked about …” he started. “I, um, think he likes me.”

Her face didn’t betray anything. “Oh? How so? Did he tell you that?”

“Um, sort of.” Wei Wuxian wasn’t exactly going to tell her that he was hearing people’s thoughts – she’d have him sent to the ER straight away.

“Sort of?”

“Well, he offers to help all the time, he let me crash at his place, and he made me breakfast that he doesn’t even like, and um … well, anyway, I’m just sure, okay?”

Wen Qing looked at him. “Okay. Well, what sort of advice do you want from me?”

He stared back at her. “Tell me what to do, for starters.”

Raising her eyebrows, she said, “You’re seriously asking me for help with your love life? Do you know how long I’ve been single for?”

“I’m serious, Wen Qing!”

She pondered about it for a couple of seconds. “Well, how do you feel about him? That’s all that matters, right? What do _you_ want to happen?”

Wei Wuxian felt his stomach turn, and he let his head fall onto the table like he was five years old. “I don’t knoooow.”

“I mean, personally, I wouldn’t recommend falling head over heels for someone. That’s a guaranteed way to get your heart broken, just saying. So if you’re just lonely, get a cat.” She paused. “But if you like him, too, well …” She smiled and patted his hair a little. _You deserve to be happy, Wei Ying. And honestly, even if A-Cheng broke my heart in the end, I’ve never been as happy as with him._

The image of a very familiar face flashed before Wei Wuxian’s eyes, even though he hadn’t seen him for a good 12 years.

He stared at her. Wait, what? How did Wen Qing know Jiang Cheng? What did she _mean_ she’d never been as happy as with him? 

Had …had they been DATING at some point? What? How? WHEN??

WHAT WAS GOING ON?

Oh god, at this point he was kind of HOPING these were all hallucinations. The thought of his current best friend and the person who was the closest thing he’d ever had to a brother _dating_ was just too weird. Not to say that Wen Qing wasn’t an awesome human being, but she didn’t exactly live up to that list of ridiculous dating criteria Wei Wuxian had accidentally come across in Jiang Cheng’s diary. As for what Wen Qing saw in Jiang Cheng … well, that was anyone’s guess.

It wasn’t impossible, though, he realized. Jiang Cheng and Wen Qing _had_ both gone to the same prestigious college, and that had been after the Jiangs had kicked him out, and before Wei Wuxian had gotten to know Wen Qing as his physiotherapist. But it wasn’t as if he could ask her about it, because she hadn’t meant for him to hear that.

Uuuuuuuuugh. Mind-reading sucked.

***

The next day at the office, Wei Wuxian was trying to do his job while simultaneously processing the fact that Wen Qing and Jiang Cheng had dated (he mostly ignored that for now), and that Lan Zhan liked him (that one was harder to ignore).

Wen Qing had asked Wei Wuxian how he felt about Lan Zhan. Well, how _did_ he feel about Lan Zhan? He was good-looking, obviously, but besides that, Wei Wuxian had always thought him to be stuck-up and boring and mainly good for teasing.

Wei Wuxian looked over at Mianmian, who was sitting a few desks over. She was pretty and perfectly normal and fun. What if it had been her who liked Wei Wuxian (and she’d been single, obviously)? Would he have been this confused then? With a groan, he realized that no, he probably wouldn’t have. Mianmian was nice, and he liked the way she stood up for herself and her beliefs, but that was all. They’d been close many times, and he hadn’t been flustered at all.

Wei Wuxian’s thoughts were interrupted by Wen Chao. “Hey, Wei Ying!” he said. “That report you did for me the other day – did you seriously do that all on your own?”

“What? You don’t think I’m able to express myself in such a clear and concise manner?”

Wen Chao just looked at him.

“Ugh, fine,” Wei Wuxian admitted. “I had some help from, uh, Lan Wangji.”

Wen Chao started laughing. “I knew it!” He looked around the office. “Hey, Lan Zhan!”

Oh, no. Wei Wuxian still hadn’t processed what had happened, he still didn’t have a solution or an answer. Please, please, please, say you’re busy and don’t come over.

The universe didn’t answer his prayer. “Yes?” Lan Zhan said, walking closer. He was followed by Lan Jingyi, who waved excitedly at Wei Wuxian, but Wei Wuxian was too focused on trying to act normal that he didn’t really notice.

“I heard you helped Wei Ying with his report,” Wen Chao said. “Just wanted to say the boss loved it.”

“You did?” Lan Jingyi said, eyes looking like someone had just explained what had _actually_ happened to his puppy that had been “sent to a farm.” “But when I asked for help yesterday, you said you were too –”

Lan Zhan waved his hand to make him stop talking. “Actually, I did not do much.”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure you did.” Wen Chao turned to Wei Wuxian. “Did you ever say thank you to him?” he asked.

“Um,” Wei Wuxian said, uncertain if he had or not. He had, right?

“There is no need for that,” Lan Zhan said.

“Of course there is!” Wen Chao said. “He’d never been able to pull it off on his own. Come on, Wei Ying! He saved your ass, you should practically be kowtowing.”

“Actually,” Lan Zhan said, lowering his voice, “if anyone here should say thank you, I believe it is you.”

Wen Chao grinned. “Well, sure – thanks.”

“Not to me, to Wei Wuxian. He is working very hard, going to great lengths to help others. You would do well to take after him.”

The grin disappeared, and Wen Chao stayed quiet, but since Lan Zhan wouldn’t stop looking at him, finally Wen Chao said to Wei Wuxian, “Eh, thanks, I guess.”

“Great. Goodbye.” He walked away, an awe-struck Lan Jingyi following.

Wei Wuxian had a feeling he should’ve been upset about having to have Lan Zhan defend him in front of Wen Chao, but the thing was, he didn’t mind. Fact was, he had rather enjoyed it. He’d never really had anyone stand up for him before – Uncle Jiang, Jiang Cheng and Shijie had all tried, but they had always been shut down by Ms Yu. He felt butterflies in his stomach again when he realized that in a staring contest between Lan Zhan and the former, Lan Zhan might actually have been able to take down even her.

But … what did that mean exactly? 

He spent the rest of the day trying to figure that out. Sure, he felt butterflies in his stomach when he looked at Lan Zhan, and when he thought about him, and when he talked about him, but that could mean many things, right?

Right?

Okay. _Fine._ Maybe he needed to admit to himself that he had a small, hard-to-define thing for Lan Zhan. But that didn’t mean he knew what he wanted to happen next. 

The bathtub fantasy for some reason made an appearance. Wei Wuxian swallowed.

Well, okay, he had a clue, but he’d never been with anyone, let alone someone who actually seemed to care for him. What if he fucked it up?

No, he should just ignore it and get a pet, like Wen Qing had suggested. Maybe a stick insect – a cat seemed like a bit too much of a responsibility. 

Anyway, it wasn’t like Lan Zhan had told him in person that he liked him. If it hadn’t been for Wei Wuxian’s weird new ability, he never would have found out anything, and that was probably for a reason, so he should just act like he’d never noticed. Yeah, that was for the best. Then they could go back to just being coworkers and that was that.

He walked back to his desk, ready to head home, when he saw that Lan Zhan was waiting there for him.

“Hey,” Wei Wuxian said.

“Hello,” he said softly, and Wei Wuxian felt warm inside his stomach, the way you do with _all_ your platonic coworkers. “I heard Wen Chao asked you to do another report for him, so I thought you might need this.” He held out a folder filled with paper. “Coworkers have to help each other out, do they not?”

Coworkers? See, yes, that was what Lan Zhan wanted too! Great, perfect!

“Thanks, man.” Wei Wuxian reached out his hand to grab it, but managed to drop it on the floor, having all the papers fall out. “Fuck! I’m sorry!” He fell to his knees, trying to catch them.

“Don’t worry,” Lan Zhan said, getting down on his knees, too. “They just have to be in a specific order, is all. If you hold the folder, I will sort them, alright?”

Wei Wuxian nodded and did as he’d been told. But when Lan Zhan started putting the papers back inside the folder, their fingers touched again, and Wei Wuxian’s heart fluttered.

_‘Co-workers have to help each other out.’ Ugh. He can see right through you, Wangji. He knows you aren’t like this with anyone else. You are not fooling anyone._

Lan Zhan was looking intently at the papers rather than meeting Wei Wuxian’s eyes.

_But … but I cannot go on treating him as coldly as I did before. Maybe this way he might actually like me, even if it is just as a friendly co-worker. Better to be just coworkers, than not get to see him at all. That … I couldn’t bear it. Not again. At least like this, I get to see him smile, be close to him. It is better than nothing._

Wei Wuxian had to stop an impulse telling him to pull Lan Zhan into a big hug.

“There,” Lan Zhan said, stone faced as always. But having heard what was going on inside his mind, Wei Wuxian could see that he was just trying to put on a brave face. It made Wei Wuxian feel all warm and flustered, like he wanted to hurt whoever dared touch a single strand of hair on Lan Zhan’s head. “All set.” Lan Zhan put the folder on his desk and stood up.

Well, fuuuuuuuuck. 

Okay, so Lan Zhan wanted more, but he was too scared to do anything about it. So if anything was going to happen, it was up to Wei Wuxian, who was Very Confused and not entirely sure what the next step should be. _Hey, I accidentally overheard your indecent thoughts about me, wanna come to my place and act it out?_

As they walked to the elevators, Wei Wuxian considered his options. One: just going for it and making out with Lan Zhan in the elevator. But knowing Lan Zhan, he’d probably scare him off if he did that. Also, what if Wei Wuxian was terrible at it?

Okay, two: he could ask him out on a date. But … but what if Lan Zhan thought that meant Wei Wuxian wanted something serious? Honestly, he’d never dated before, he didn’t _know_ what he wanted. 

Three: don’t do anything. Wait for him to get over you, and see him fall for someone else, while you remain alone forever.

Wei Wuxian felt sick. He’d rather gouge his eyes with a butter knife out than do number three.

When the elevator had made it all the way to the bottom and they exited the building, Wei Wuxian finally mustered up all the courage he had.

“Um, Lan Wangji?”

He looked at him. “Mm?”

Wei Wuxian took a deep breath. “Eh. Wanna … wanna go for a meal or something? As a thank you, I mean, for your help. I realized I maybe didn’t say that before, and also there was that breakfast thing and letting me crash at your place, and um, yeah, I just thought …”

Lan Zhan looked frozen. Oh god. What if this just was some hallucination after all, Wei Wuxian had imagined the whole thing, and now he’d made it awkward?

Wei Wuxian cleared his throat. “Or, you know, if you’re busy, we don’t have to.” 

“No,” Lan Zhan said, at which Wei Wuxian momentarily was ready to throw himself off a cliff.

“No worries, forget I mentioned it,” Wei Wuxian laughed, trying to act as if it was nothing. He turned to walk away, but was held back. 

Lan Zhan swallowed, his hand tight around the arm of Wei Wuxian’s shirt. _Don’t let him go, don’t let him go, don’t let him go._ He took a deep breath. “Um. I meant to say, no, I am not busy, yes, I would like to go for a meal.” His ears were burning red again.

Feeling about 20 pounds lighter, Wei Wuxian felt a grin growing on his face. “Yeah?”

Lan Zhan nodded, and then smiled a little, at which Wei Wuxian thought he might take off the ground completely.


	4. Chapter 4

“To Hanguang-Jun, the best mentor anyone could ever ask for!” Lan Jingyi raised his beer glass high over his head, and then continued to gulp down most of it, as did most of their co-workers. “Anyone want more? It’s on me tonight!” After several requests, he headed to the bar, leaving the seat next to Wei Wuxian empty.

When Wei Wuxian had suggested grabbing a meal together with Lan Zhan, this wasn’t what he had had in mind. And okay, normally Wei Wuxian didn’t have anything against Lan Jingyi, but tonight he felt like strangling him, because if it hadn’t been for him and his stupid first closed deal, they wouldn’t all be here to celebrate with him.

Because just as Lan Zhan and Wei Wuxian were about to leave the office building, an ecstatic Lan Jingyi had come to tell them about the deal and how it was all thanks for Lan Zhan’s mentorship and the rest of the office was going out to celebrate with him and wouldn’t they please join him? And then it turned out that beneath it all Lan Zhan was a big softy, because he had agreed to come with for one celebratory toast, before he and Wei Wuxian had to get going.

But yet, here they were, as people kept insisting on them staying every time either of them tried to come up with an excuse to leave. And they didn’t even sit next to each other – no, Lan Zhan was way over on the other side.

“Come on, Lan Zhan, you can’t toast with coke!” Wen Chao said, and handed him a shot of vodka.

“No, thank you,” Lan Zhan said.

“Come on, man, don’t be a bummer – you’re not even driving tonight!” When Lan Zhan still didn’t take it, he said, “You’re seriously gonna turn it down? You’re gonna diss me like that?” As he’d already had more than his fair share of drinks, he seemed to take it as a personal offense.

Wei Wuxian, who vividly remembered Lan Zhan’s aversion to alcohol (specifically after the incident a couple of months ago, when they’d both been asked to join the board members and one of their most important clients for dinner. It had ended with Lan Zhan being forced to drink, and quite aggressively and drunkenly turning down the unwanted attention from the middle-aged female client, thus abruptly ending their companies’ cooperation together … and Wei Wuxian being the one who had to take him on a long walk home with lots of detours and strange gifts that Lan Zhan found on the way – he’d even been running after a terrified and obese pigeon, trying to catch it, saying that it was for Wei Wuxian), leaned over the table and took the shot glass from Wen Chao, emptying it in one go.

“Thanks, man,” Wei Wuxian said. Lan Zhan gave him a puzzled look.

Wen Chao looked like he was going to argue, but was interrupted by someone saying, “Let’s play a game!” and when they started handing out drinking straws of different lengths, he forgot all about it.

Lan Zhan seemed to take this as his cue, as he got up and went around to Wei Wuxian to say something. Wei Wuxian could barely think with his lips so close to his ear, but before Lan Zhan had the chance to make himself heard, someone put a straw each in their hands, and pulled Lan Zhan down on the empty chair next to Wei Wuxian.

“Okay, so the loser needs to –”

“Kiss whoever’s next to them!” Wen Chao said, winking at Mianmian, who smiled uncomfortably.

“I have a husband,” she said.

“So? I have a wife. It’s just for fun.”

“The company’s policy strongly advises ag–” Lan Zhan started.

“Oh, don’t be such a stuck-up old man, Lan Zhan!” Wen Chao said. “Let’s see those straws!” He promptly held out his, which luckily for everyone turned out to be one of the longer ones.

Wei Wuxian, on the other hand, realized he’d drawn the shortest one. Suddenly, those butterflies were back, as there was no one on Wei Wuxian’s right, and that only left Lan Zhan.

“Haha!” Wen Chao laughed. “Come on, pucker up, suckers!”

At first, Wei Wuxian could only focus on Lan Zhan’s soft-looking lips, but when he looked closer at his face, he could tell how stiff and uncomfortable Lan Zhan was, being observed by everyone. This must be his worst nightmare. Quickly, Wei Wuxian placed a light peck on Lan Zhan’s forehead, and then pulled away.

“Booo!” Wen Chao said. “That doesn’t count!”

Lan Zhan got to his feet, his face void of feelings. “I, um, have to make a phone call.”

“What, you mad?” Wen Chao said. “Come on, bro, don’t be such a p–”

“Forget about it,” Mianmian interrupted, forcing a smile. “We’re here to have fun, right?” 

“Why do you care? You got a crush on him or something?” He stared at her. “Aaaargh, what the –”

“Oops, sorry,” Mianmian said, having spilled her drink on him. “I guess I’m just so head-over-heels that I don’t know what I’m doing. So, _so_ sorry. Really.”

Wei Wuxian looked after Lan Zhan who’d disappeared out onto the rooftop terrace, despite it being November.

“Okay, who wanted the white wine?” Lan Jingyi said as he made his way back. Wei Wuxian got up and pushed his way past him. “What happened?”

He didn’t stop to explain, but made it out to the rooftop, where Lan Zhan was standing with his back to him, overlooking the city.

“You okay?” Wei Wuxian asked in a low tone of voice, and walked to stand next to him.

Lan Zhan’s shoulders tensed a little. “Mm.”

Wei Wuxian had never wanted to hear what was going on inside of his head more, but Lan Zhan was keeping his distance, and his face didn’t reveal anything. 

First the very well-hidden emotions, and now this reaction. What if … what if Lan Zhan didn’t actually want to pursue this after all? Maybe he wasn’t out? Or maybe he was embarrassed by the thought of other people knowing he liked _Wei Wuxian?_

But if there was something that Wei Wuxian had learnt from all of this, it was that he had terrible instincts, and he wasn’t about to throw all of this away when he had a chance of finding out what was really going on.

In order to not freak him out, Wei Wuxian made a display of leaning against the railing, saying, “Yeah, um, guess that didn't go the way either of us wanted it,” and simultaneously moved his foot so that their shoes touched.

_I knew it. He hated it. He only did it to shut Wen Chao up, and if he hadn’t been drinking, he would not have done it at all. That was why he was so quick to pull away. I should have stopped him before. If I hadn’t been so selfish and desperate, I wouldn’t have ruined everything. He hated it, he hated it, he hated it._

_Should I just get drunk and pretend to not remember any of this tomorrow?_ Lan Zhan sighed. _No. His taking that shot for me was probably just to save himself from the embarrassment of having to put up with me being inebriated again. And I would most likely just do something I’d regret, anyway. Like forcibly dragging him away for that dinner da… Ugh, Wangji, who are you kidding? It wasn’t a date, and he probably only offered to buy you a meal because he was feeling obligated after Wen Chao’s comment. He must have been so relieved when Lan Jingyi showed up. And who wouldn’t be? Who would_ ever _want to be with someone as stuck-up and boring as you? Didn’t he even say that once, back in high school?_

_You are so stupid – he will never like you, he is going to avoid you forever, and you ruined everything, you stupid, stupid, stupid –_

Lan Zhan’s hands tensed around the railing, and he pulled away, putting some more distance between them.

Wei Wuxian had a hard time wrapping his head around what he’d just heard. Surely Wei Wuxian had never said something like that? Maybe … okay, maybe he’d said something along those lines, but that had obviously been meant as a joke, considering that at least half of the students at their school had been in love with Lan Zhan. So how could Lan Zhan have believed that? How could someone like _Hanguang-Jun_ think so poorly of himself? He was practically perfect. Sure, he _came off_ as a bit stuck-up and boring, but once you got to know him, anyone would see that wasn’t the case. And NO ONE was allowed to talk like that to Lan Zhan, not even Lan Zhan himself, and definitely not a stupid and jealous teenaged Wei Wuxian.

“I should probably head home,” Lan Zhan said, making a show of looking at his watch, and then started heading for the door.

As he walked away, Wei Wuxian had an inkling if Lan Zhan walked out that door, this would probably take a different turn than Wei Wuxian had hoped for.

“I didn’t hate it!” he blurted out, effectively causing Lan Zhan to stop in his tracks. After a few seconds, Lan Zhan slowly turned around, his eyes full of confusion. “I didn’t hate it,” Wei Wuxian repeated. “I _wanted_ to kiss you. I – I only pulled away because I thought _you_ didn’t want me to in front of everyone.”

Lan Zhan looked frozen.

“Did you hear me, or do I need to say it again?”

His Adam’s apple bobbed slowly. “… you did not hate it?” he asked, looking intently at him.

“No, not at all!”

“You … wanted to kiss me?” Lan Zhan said, once again just repeating Wei Wuxian’s words. It was barely loud enough for him to hear it.

Wei Wuxian nodded. “Mm-hmm.”

They just stared at each other for a few seconds, before Wei Wuxian finally walked closer. He only stopped when he was close enough to see Lan Zhan’s long eyelashes, and feel his warm breath on his skin. But for some reason, there was still uncertainty in his eyes.

“I still want to,” Wei Wuxian whispered, his gaze shifting between Lan Zhan’s eyes and his lips, waiting for him to take the final step. _Goddammit, just kiss me_ , Wei Wuxian thought.

And then, finally, Lan Zhan closed the distance between them, placing his lips on Wei Wuxian’s, his hands in his hair. 

Oh, _god._

_Fuck. Is this really happening? Is this …_

It wasn’t just Lan Zhan’s thoughts that seemed to have faded away. Wei Wuxian could swear his brain had stopped functioning, too, whereas the rest of his body was an explosion of sensations and feelings he’d never really experienced before.

The kiss was soft at first, careful, but it soon changed and became desperate, as if Wei Wuxian’s breath was the only thing containing oxygen. Which was ironic, because Wei Wuxian felt like he’d lost his breath. He wasn’t exactly gentle, either, and pushed himself closer to Lan Zhan, needing their bodies to touch, needing the warmth and pressure of his skin under those layers of immaculate clothes, needing – 

The door clicked, and they quickly pulled away from each other, both out of breath. Lan Zhan’s bright eyes had a fierce look in them, Wei Wuxian noted excitedly, before tearing his gaze off him and looking at whoever had come through that door to ruin everything.

“Lan Jingyi,” Lan Zhan said, sounding a bit like he’d been running a marathon, and then had to scold his misbehaving child.

“Hanguang-Jun. I was just coming to tell you that the rest of us are going to another bar. You coming with?”

Lan Zhan looked at the ground. “I, um, think it is time for me to head home.”

“Oh,” Lan Jingyi said. “What about you, Wei Wuxian?”

Wei Wuxian glanced at Lan Zhan, confused. Had Lan Zhan meant that he was heading home alone, or was it just to not make Lan Jingyi suspicious? “Yeah, no, I should probably also …” He trailed off.

“Of course. Luo Qingyang is also leaving,” Lan Jingyi said. “She’s grabbing a cab, you should hurry and you can share it. You live in the same direction, don’t you?”

“Right,” Wei Wuxian said, with this terrible feeling that things were slipping out of his hands. The last thing he wanted was to jump into a taxi with Mianmian when Lan Zhan was going the other way.

Lan Zhan nodded at them. “I will see you both tomorrow,” he said, and disappeared through the door without Wei Wuxian getting the chance to say goodbye, or even address what had just happened.


	5. Chapter 5

He liked Lan Zhan. He liked being kissed by Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan liked _him_ , and being kissed by him. And he wanted to know what would’ve happened hadn’t someone interrupted them.

These were the only thoughts that played over and over in Wei Wuxian’s head, as he went home, as he went to bed, as he tried to sleep but failed miserably, as he got up the next morning and got ready to go to work, as he entered the office building, and as he saw Lan Zhan coming towards him outside the elevator. 

Yup. He was pretty sure his hard-to-define thing had solidified into a proper crush.

“Hey.” Wei Wuxian started grinning when he realized they were the only ones present, and that he might be about to find out the answer to the riddle that had plagued him all night.

“Good morning,” Lan Zhan said, stone faced and without looking at him. When the elevator doors opened, he seemed to hesitate, and then he said, “I will, um, take the stairs.”

_What?_

Wei Wuxian watched the other man walk away. Had they both not agreed that they had wanted to kiss last night? Was it the fact that Wei Wuxian hadn’t said he’d wanted to go home with him? Or maybe Lan Zhan had realized that Wei Wuxian was a terrible kisser and had gotten over his crush just as quick as he’d fallen into it?

Either way, _something_ was obviously wrong, because Lan Zhan avoided him the rest of the day. Wei Wuxian tried to get close to him in the copy room and during lunch, but both times Lan Zhan turned around and walked the other way. 

“Wen Qiiiing,” he complained on the phone after having been abandoned in the lunchroom.

_“What?”_ she sighed, having learnt that when hearing that tone to expect some ridiculous problem she herself wouldn’t have given a second’s thought.

“You know the guy I told you about?”

_“Yeah?”_

“We kissed, and now he’s avoiding me.”

_“Then he’s an idiot. Ignore him.”_ There was a distant doorbell. _“Speaking of: the world’s brattiest paperboy is here again. Hold on.”_ A door slammed open. _“I told you, I’m not giving the dog to you unless you can prove you own it.”_ The door slammed shut before the person had a chance to answer, but an intense round of knocks immediately followed. _“Ugh. Can you believe this kid? He had the nerve to yell at A-Ning and say he_ stole _the dog, after all the trouble he went through rescuing it.”_

“Admit it, you like the beast and just wanna keep it.”

“I do _not._ But _you_ obviously want something more with that guy, so I guess then you’ll just have to talk to him, won’t you? _”_

“Uuuugh. I was hoping you wouldn’t say that.”

Well, even if he didn’t like it, Wen Qing was right, and the third time was the charm – Wei Wuxian would literally chase Lan Zhan down after work if he had to. 

Or at least, that was the plan until Wei Wuxian exited the building only to see Lan Zhan in the arms of the most gorgeous man he’d ever seen – he even made Lan Zhan pale in comparison, because unlike Lan Zhan’s stoic demeanor, the man actually dared to smile in the presence of other people.

But … but Lan Zhan hated being touched by others. This was a rule set in stone, of which up until now Wei Wuxian had been the only glorious exception. So who was this person who got to hug him in public? 

“I asked the florist for something that said _I’m sorry I messed up and I love you,_ ” the man said to Lan Zhan, holding a huge bouquet of like a hundred red roses. “Will they do?”

“Mm,” Lan Zhan answered, his face not revealing anything.

Wei Wuxian felt his heart sink. _What?_ Was it an ex boyfriend? Or, even worse, a current one? No, Lan Zhan would never cheat on someone, so it had to be an ex. 

“Hey, Wei Wuxian!” someone called, interrupting his sad train of thoughts. It was Mianmian. “You headed to the subway, too?”

“Yeah.” 

“Great!” she said. “By the way, thanks for following me home last night – you saved me from having to share a cab with Wen Chao.”

“Yeah, sure, don’t worry about it,” he said, and forced himself to smile at her. It wasn’t her fault he felt like he was currently standing in the rain in some sad, French black-and-white drama.

She followed his miserable gaze. “Woah, who’s that?”

Probably the first male Victoria’s secret model slash president under the age of 35 with a Nobel prize in Chemistry, Medicine, Physics, Literature _and_ Peace, who _loved_ pension plans and non-fiction books. 

“No idea.” Wei Wuxian sounded a lot more glum than he had intended to.

“Oh. I just figured you’d know.”

Wei Wuxian stared at her. “What? Why?”

Shrugging, she said, “You’ve seemed really close lately.” 

He felt his face flush. “Because of that kiss? Ha-ha, that was just for fun.”

She knitted her brows. “No, I meant, with you helping each other out around the office.”

“Oh.”

On their way to the subway, Wei Wuxian only half-listened to the rest of the rather one-sided conversation between them, where he at most said such insightful things as, “Yeah", “Sure,” and “Mm-hmm.” (There was something about Wen Chao getting so drunk he had to spend the night in jail, but none of it registered with Wei Wuxian.)

With an ex like that, who could blame Lan Zhan if he preferred him over Wei Wuxian? Was that why he’d been acting so weird this morning? Because the ex had shown up, regretful and wanting them to get back together, and so naturally Lan Zhan had wanted to ignore that last night ever even happened?

“Hey, asshole, give that back!” Mianmian suddenly called out.

“Sure,” Wei Wuxian almost replied, before he realized that a young man had just bumped into her. He had her purse in his hand, Wei Wuxian realized.

“Hey!” Wei Wuxian said, grabbing the man’s arm while trying to take back the purse. But the man shoved him aside, making Wei Wuxian with his terrible balance stumble and fall to the ground. Luckily, he’d gotten a hold of the purse’s strap, and the man came falling down after him.

When a gloved fist pummeled down on Wei Wuxian’s face, and another held something surprisingly sharp against his stomach, he realized that maybe he hadn’t been that lucky after all. Sure, had this been before the accident, he probably could’ve taken the man down, but not in this weak and uncoordinated body.

_You think you can try to beat me, huh?_ the young man thought. _That you’re a hero, that you’re better than me? Well, it looks like you were wrong, doesn’t it? I should punish you, shouldn’t I, for jumping to conclusions about me?_ He smiled a twisted grin as the hand holding the knife pressed a bit closer. 

“I mean, whatever you do is still only gonna be number two on the list of shitty things to happen to me today,” Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but say, which caught the young man off guard.

Without hesitation, Mianmian rushed closer and managed to lock the man’s arms behind him. She forced him to the ground with her knee against his back, until more people showed up and could help them.

And then, somehow, Lan Zhan was there.

“Wei Ying?” he said in the most agony-filled voice Wei Wuxian had ever heard, and for once his distress was written clear as day on his face. It was excruciating to see.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry!” Wei Wuxian said and tried to sit up, but Lan Zhan’s hands forced him to stay on the ground. As he saw the bloodied rift in Wei Wuxian’s shirt, his eyes widened, and all that was heard was _no, no, no, no, no._

“What happened?” he demanded to know.

Downplaying his answer a bit, Wei Wuxian tried to convince him he was actually fine, but Lan Zhan refused to believe him until he had lifted Wei Wuxian’s shirt up and could see that it was just a shallow scratch. He had half-way removed his tie to press against the wound before Wei Wuxian convinced him it had already stopped bleeding, and after that he still made Wei Wuxian state how many fingers he could see and what date it was and prove he could wiggle all his toes.

Once Wei Wuxian was allowed back on his feet, Mianmian came up to them. “Are you okay?” she asked, hugging him. _He seems okay, right? Oh, god, but that guy had a knife, what if …_ she thought before letting go. She looked like she was about to cry, while Lan Zhan was staring intensely at her. (A week ago, Wei Wuxian would’ve said it was because he was into her. He’d come to realize that his radar for these things was terribly off.)

Wei Wuxian nodded, though it hurt to move his neck. “This is nothing, you should see what my face did to his hand.” He smiled a little to ease the tension. “And honestly, I think I’d be more scared of ending up in a fight with _you_. Where did you learn those moves?”

Mianmian laughed a little and wiped her eyes. “My dad was really keen on me learning self-defence. Here,” she said, pulling up some wet wipes, hand sanitizer and Hello Kitty bandaids from her bag (he was amazed at how some people were prepared for just about anything). “Let me –” she started, then took one look at Lan Zhan’s face, said, “Um, why don’t you take them?” and handed them to him. “I’ll, uh, go talk to those policemen again, say you’re too shocked to make a statement – Officer Xiao, Officer Song!”

Without a word, Lan Zhan got a wet wipe and gently started cleaning the blood off of Wei Wuxian’s busted eyebrow, and then his stomach, making him wince (for several reasons).

_Oh, god. What if he is seriously hurt, what if he is hiding it from me?_ He removed the wet wipe, now stained with half-dried blood, and then methodologically continued with the hand sanitizer and the bandaids. Despite his calm exterior, an image appeared. Wei Wuxian soon realized it was his younger self, pale and with tubes connected to his face, confined to a hospital bed. He felt a wave of sickness coming over him.

“You should go to the ER,” Lan Zhan said to Wei Wuxian, lowering his hands.

“No.”

“He’s right,” Lan Zhan’s ex said, because _of course_ he was also here on this glorious day. “Even if we overlooked the assault, you still fell and hit your head, and might have suffered a concussion.”

“I’m fine,” Wei Wuxian repeated, trying not to massage the bump that had started to appear at the back of his neck. “I know my head injuries, this is nothing.”

That was not exactly true. But really, he hated feeling like a burden, and more importantly, he hated hospitals, and had sworn he’d never go back unless it was in a white body bag.

“The more reason for us to check it up,” Lan Zhan said. “What if … what if …” He trailed off, not finishing the sentence.

The ex looked at Lan Zhan with a tender gaze that made Wei Wuxian want to gag. “Wangji,” he said, and, oh my god, they were on a personal-name only basis?! “Why don’t you follow Wei Wuxian home? Stay the night, make sure he’s okay? I’ll make sure that Sizhui and Bichen are fed.”

“That’s not necessary,” Wei Wuxian said because he didn’t need a babysitter, especially not one who’d rather be with his stupidly hot ex.

“Okay, xiongzhang,” Lan Zhan whispered.

Wei Wuxian blinked. Wait. Xiongzhang? He looked at Lan Zhan, then at the other man. “You’re _brothers_?” he asked.

“Yes,” the other man smiled. “I’m Lan Xichen, nice to finally meet you.”

Wei Wuxian blinked again. “Yeah, uh, you too.” Okay, now that he knew about it, he could see the family resemblance. Same height, same model features. The only thing that really set them apart were their eyes. 

Ehum. 

He was bad with faces, okay?

“I’ll get you two a taxi,” Lan Xichen said to Lan Zhan, who wouldn’t take his eyes off Wei Wuxian.

“Stop staring, you’re making me blush,” Wei Wuxian joked, but really, it was the truth.

Lan Zhan looked down, his earlobes burning. “Can you walk?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine, really,” Wei Wuxian insisted, but then his body betrayed him and he stumbled. Immediately, Lan Zhan caught him and steadied him with his arms.

_Oh, god, he is not fine, he’s not. He is going to fall back into a coma and it is going to be all my fault because I wasn’t there to protect him this time either. I can’t go through that again, I can’t. Where is the bastard who did this? I will drag him out of that police car and then I am going to KILL him._

Wei Wuxian pressed Lan Zhan’s hand with his own. “I’m okay, I promise, alright?”

_What if he isn’t?_ He hesitated a bit. _What if he just doesn't want me to come back to his place? I knew it, last night was just a drunken mistake and now he is trying to let me down without hurting my feelings._

Oh. 

“You’re not off the hook, though,” Wei Wuxian said, putting on his most innocent face. “I expect you to be a vigilant nurse, making lots and lots of food for his sickly patient.”

_That … wait, what does that mean?_ Lan Zhan looked a bit flustered. _Ugh, Wangji, it doesn’t_ matter _, all that matters is that he needs someone to look after him._ After a short while, he said, “I am only making congee.”

“Spicy congee.”

“No, plain.” _His body has enough to deal with right now, it does not need an attack in the form of spices._

“Hmpff,” Wei Wuxian said, crossing his arms, but he couldn’t help but grin.

***

In the cab, Lan Zhan searched for _concussion symptoms_ on his phone and his face grew paler and paler. 

Hmm.

With the excuse of trying to read the same article, Wei Wuxian leaned his head on Lan Zhan’s shoulder.

_Balance issues are a common symptom. He stumbled before when he tried to walk and oh my god, he’s resting his head on my shoulder._

Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but smirk, enjoying the last part of Lan Zhan’s inner monologue more than the first – they really needed to steer away from the topic of concussions. With great powers come great responsibilities, and he felt like this was a very worthy cause.

Since Wei Wuxian was being able to see what was on the screen, he figured it wasn’t weird that he might know what Lan Zhan was thinking. “I’ve had balance issues ever since I woke up from my coma,” he said. “As long as I’m not vomiting or having seizures, I think we’re fine.” He paused. “Oh, and did you hear that? No slurred speech.”

_Unequal pupil size, abnormal eye movement._ Lan Zhan looked into Wei Wuxian’s eyes for a good 30 seconds, before Wei Wuxian felt compelled to wink at him, which made Lan Zhan swallow and look away. _Oh GOD, how is that even ALLOWED, especially with that Hello Kitty plaster on? Um. Just – focus on the text, focus on the text. ‘Lasting confusion, loss of consciousness …’_

“You know what?” Wei Wuxian said. “I _am_ a bit confused. Why did you avoid me today?”

Lan Zhan cleared his throat. _Oh god,_ he thought, and then Wei Wuxian was attacked with images of the two of them making out (among other things) in the elevator, the copy room and the lunch hall. 

Wei Wuxian chuckled. _Oh._ “Was it because you regretted what happened last night?” he teased.

“What? No!”

Wei Wuxian innocently raised his eyebrows. “Well, how am I supposed to know, huh? There aren’t that many ways to interpret being avoided after making out the night before.”

Lan Zhan’s ears were bright red at this point. “I thought that perhaps it was a drunken mistake on your behalf. And even if that wasn’t the case, I, um, did not think I would be able to …” _God, I cannot say that in front of people._ He glanced at the cab driver, then took a deep breath. “I needed to make sure we did not go against any company policies in the workplace. That, um, required me to stay away from you.”

Wei Wuxian chuckled again, and pressed his lips against Lan Zhan’s shoulder. He lowered his voice. “What? Hanguang-Jun, _you_ wanted to break the rules, too?”

As Lan Zhan’s fist tightened, his mind went silent. Huh. That was strange.

And then Wei Wuxian was showered with a film where Lan Zhan pressed himself on top of Wei Wuxian in the cab and – _No. He is injured. This is not the time. Plus, there are still other people present._

_There won’t be in his apartment,_ another thought interjected. _And he wants it, too._

_No, he is_ injured ** _._ **

_You need to keep him awake. What better way than –?_

_NO._

Flustered, Wei Wuxian removed his head from Lan Zhan’s shoulder, as he realized there was a great chance that he wouldn’t be able to hear Lan Zhan’s thoughts the following morning, because he was rooting for Lan Zhan’s second inner voice. 

But … but without his ability, how would Wei Wuxian be able to understand what Lan Zhan really wanted? Hadn’t the events today proved that he had no idea what went on in Lan Zhan’s mind if he wasn’t actively listening?

The cab stopped in front of Wei Wuxian’s apartment, and Lan Zhan opened the door for him, but kept his distance. Hm. Maybe that was for the best.

After having survived the elevator ride by both of them staring into different directions, Wei Wuxian fumbled with his keys for a moment, before he was able to let Lan Zhan into his studio apartment.

He quickly picked up his flute and some clothes (okay, like _all_ of his clothes) from the floor, some dirty dishes spread out across the room, and opened the window to let in some fresh air.

“Welcome to my cave,” he joked, extremely embarrassed by the stark contrast between the pristine Lan Zhan and his shabby apartment.

But Lan Zhan seemed to be focused on the stack of notes and sketches that Wei Wuxian had left lying around. They were just rough ideas for things he’d thought the clients might appreciate, nothing he’d been planning on showing people. Still, Lan Zhan inspected each and every single one of them very carefully.

“These are good,” he said. “You should be in the creative department, not data.” Then Lan Zhan cleared his throat. “You should _also_ lie down right away.”

Wei Wuxian waved his hand. “Pfft. I’m fine, I’ve told you!”

“Lie down.”

Wei Wuxian stopped himself from saying, _Is that an order?,_ only because he really needed to hold on to his abilities for a little while longer. “I thought I wasn’t allowed to sleep?” he said, not able to completely stop himself from teasing Lan Zhan.

Lan Zhan’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “That is just a common misconception, the article said at the end. Since you do not show any symptoms, sleep will only be good for you.”

Wei Wuxian pouted. “What if I don’t wanna lie down?”

Lan Zhan looked at him, and Wei Wuxian could see something change in his eyes. Then he came towards him, pulling him by the arm and pushing him onto the bed. For a moment, Wei Wuxian was on his back, his arm pinned to the mattress. Holding his breath, he felt something flutter inside of him. Was this what he’d been missing out on? Why hadn’t he been doing this every day, every second of his life? Whatever logic he had tried to hold on to before was gone. Who needed thoughts anyway, his own or anyone else’s? Thinking was overrated.

_Stop, Wangji. Stop right now. He was just attacked and assaulted, and still you couldn’t stop yourself from doing that? You are here to make sure he is alright and nothing else,_ Lan Zhan thought. _Back away._

Without looking at Wei Wuxian, Lan Zhan said, “I am making you some congee. Where can I find the ingredients?”


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, Wei Wuxian woke up to a tidied-up apartment and the second best breakfast of his life (second only because there weren’t as many ingredients in his cupboards and fridge as there had been in Lan Zhan’s).

“Good morning,” Lan Zhan said, inspecting him as he sat down by the table. “How are you feeling?”

“All better now, thanks to you,” Wei Wuxian smiled.

Lan Zhan looked down as he poured him some coffee. “There is no need to say thanks.”

His shirt was wrinkled and he had dark circles under his eyes, as he had insisted on staying awake the entire night, just to make sure that Wei Wuxian was alright. Wei Wuxian on the other hand, despite his best efforts, had fallen asleep not too long after they’d eaten, which was a bummer, because he really liked having the slightly worn Lan Zhan looking like he belonged there in Wei Wuxian’s den.

Ripping off the figurative bandaid before Lan Zhan had the chance, he said, “Now that we know I’m okay, I guess you’ll be going back to your place?”

Lan Zhan quietly finished his tea before saying, “It could be days, even weeks, before any symptoms develop. I do not think you should be alone for a while.” For a moment, Wei Wuxian’s outlook brightened, until Lan Zhan added, “Maybe you should ask to stay with someone of the Jiangs?”

“Um,” Wei Wuxian said, concentrating on the spoon going round and round in his cup of coffee. “I don’t really … we’re not on speaking terms anymore.” He didn’t look at Lan Zhan – this wasn’t something he’d been planning on ever telling him.

Voice low, he said, “What do you mean?”

“Doesn’t matter. I guess I could ask Wen Qing if I could stay with them.” Wei Wuxian pouted. “It’s even further away from work, though, so it’ll be on you when I’m late every morning.”

“I will stay.”

Wei Wuxian looked up – he’d only been joking. “What?”

“I will stay,” Lan Zhan repeated, his face not giving away anything of what he’d made of the last few minutes.

It didn’t take much to realize that he pitied Wei Wuxian, though, which made Wei Wuxian feel uneasy.

“Who’s gonna look after your bunnies? Water your plants?”

“My brother will help me. He and his boyfriend live close by.”

Oh. So _that_ must have been who the red roses were for.

“I only have a terribly thin, narrow mattress that we’ll have to share.” Wei Wuxian’s voice caught in his throat thinking about sleeping next to Lan Zhan. Hm. Come to think of it, that probably wouldn’t keep him away. “And you’ll probably end up on the floor since I move so much in my sleep.” 

“That’s alright.” Lan Zhan’s face revealed nothing, but his increasingly red earlobes did. 

“I snore.”

With a miniscule smile, Lan Zhan said, “You do not.”

Wei Wuxian caved, because he was really weak for that smile. “Fine. If you’re so worried, you can stay. As long as you promise to actually get some sleep.”

Lan Zhan smiled a bit more, but didn’t say anything.

“That’s not a yes, Lan Zhan.”

“Yes.”

“And you’ll cook for me.”

“Of course.”

“And we won’t go to bed at 9 p.m.”

“Alright. 9.30, then.”

“No. Not a minute before 10, or I’ll just toss and turn for an hour anyway.”

Lan Zhan smiled a little. “Alright.”

Wei Wuxian felt a smug smile creep onto his face. Who’d have thought being attacked at knifepoint would have its benefits, eh?

***

When Wei Wuxian had gotten dressed and exited the bathroom, Lan Zhan had already made the dishes and removed all traces of a breakfast taking place just fifteen minutes before. It was like magic, really.

“You ready?” Wei Wuxian asked. “We need to get going if we don’t wanna be late.”

Lan Zhan just gave him a look. “You aren’t going to work.”

“What?”

“I’ve already called your manager and explained that you will be taking a sick day today.”

Wei Wuxian frowned. “But I’m not sick. Plus, I have a ton of work that I need to –”

“No,” Lan Zhan simply said.

Wei Wuxian crossed his arms. “‘No’? You can’t exactly stop me.”

Lan Zhan looked at him and raised an eyebrow, which made Wei Wuxian’s throat go dry. If he hadn’t had to hold on to his ability, he would’ve made a move for the door just to see what would happen.

Instead, he pouted and said, “Hmpf. I’d forgotten how bossy you can be.” He went to sit down. “What about you? You’re not sick.”

“I have taken care of it.”

“You make it sound like you’re a mobster. What does that even mean?”

Lan Zhan smiled a little. “I talked to my uncle and explained that you needed someone to keep an eye on you until we know you’re alright.”

“I’m _fi–”_ Wei Wuxian started, rolling his eyes.

“Wei Ying, please. Just humour me,” Lan Zhan said in a soft voice, which caught Wei Wuxian off guard. It was like a rare sighting of a full moon and a sunset at the same time.

Ugh. He’d do anything for soft Lan Zhan.

“… okay.” He paused a little, before changing the subject. “So what will we be doing then?” His eyes lit up. “Oo, there’s this new horror show we can binge-watch! And we can order take-out, and –”

“No.”

“Let me guess, because it’s no good for me?” Wei Wuxian pouted again. “You’re no fun, Lan Zhan.” 

Only when Lan Zhan swallowed and looked away did Wei Wuxian realize that Lan Zhan probably thought Wei Wuxian was serious, like he had when they were teenagers. Damn it, why was Wei Wuxian so dumb?

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding – you’re not boring, Lan Zhan.” He hesitated a little. “I’m … I’m actually glad you’re here to take care of me. I haven’t had someone do that in a long time.”

Lan Zhan gave him a look that was hard to decipher, then looked down again. 

Fuck, he’d taken it a notch too far, hadn’t he? No one liked being around a mope. Ugh, why had he had to say that?

He laughed a little too loud. “Sorry for being so mushy, I probably hit my head harder than I thought. So what will you have your sickly patient do, then?”

Lan Zhan looked at him for a long while before speaking, and Wei Wuxian felt a little uncomfortable, as if Lan Zhan was seeing straight through him.

“Do you think you could handle going for a walk?” Lan Zhan finally said. “Some fresh air and exercise would probably be good for you.”

Feeling a bit like he was suffocating inside his small apartment, Wei Wuxian nodded and said, “Yeah, um, sure. Let’s do that.”

***

After a day of a slow walk around the block, healthy, home-cooked meals every four hours and plenty of water, and being banned from using electronic devices (“digital detoxes are important”) and instead having to resort to _rest_ and _silence_ and _being bored,_ Wei Wuxian was actually ready to hit the hay at 9 p.m. And with that he meant physically abusing the hay with his fists. Like, he hadn’t been allowed to talk all day, or even _read_ , as Lan Zhan told him he should “limit activities that required thinking and mental concentration”. Wei Wuxian didn't even _like_ reading all that much, and still he felt like he'd do anything to be allowed to do it. And speaking of things he couldn’t do, he hadn’t even been able to entertain himself with teasing or touching Lan Zhan, because he knew what that would lead to.

In other words, Wei Wuxian was looking forward to being unconscious for the new few hours.

As Lan Zhan hadn’t had the chance to bring any extra clothes with him, Wei Wuxian had lent him a pair of red pajama pants and a black band tee, which turned out to be a mistake, because _damn,_ those slightly too short pants and the t-shirt that was stretching across his muscled shoulders and chest and back had Wei Wuxian feeling things.

Despite pressing himself against the wall with his back facing the rest of the room, his single bed had never felt so small as when a hesitant Lan Zhan crawled in after him. All Wei Wuxian wanted to do was snuggle up close to him, but he knew that was A Bad Idea. He needed to be able to hear Lan Zhan’s thoughts, he reminded himself, at least until he knew a bit better what was going on between them. Otherwise, when he inevitably fucked up at some point, he’d have no chance to figure out how to fix it again.

That was why when Lan Zhan’s knee accidentally bumped into Wei Wuxian, he pulled away, even though his instincts told him to do the opposite. He wished he could’ve told Lan Zhan the actual reason for doing so, but obviously that wasn’t going to happen.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into the wall. “I just … I just need us to take things slow, okay?”

He could hear Lan Zhan swallow. “Okay,” he said, his breath tickling Wei Wuxian’s neck. 

Damn it, damn it, damn it.

“Well, um, goodnight, then.”

“Goodnight.”

***

The next morning, Wei Wuxian woke up with his arms and legs tangled around Lan Zhan’s body, and for some reason this had Lan Zhan agree that Wei Wuxian was ready to go back to work. (As Wei Wuxian had heard Lan Zhan’s thoughts when he woke up, he knew  _ very  _ well what that reason was, and he agreed one hundred percent. Well, maybe ninety-nine. Or fifty-one. Either way, work was good, work was safe, work meant there’d be people and space between them to keep them from doing something they shouldn’t.)

After sharing a cab in silence, they split up when they entered the office, but Wei Wuxian had a _really_ hard time trying to focus at the tasks Wen Chao was giving him and the questions Lan Jingyi had and the comments and anecdotes Mianmian was telling, as he kept inadvertently looking for Lan Zhan.

It was only at lunch that Wei Wuxian saw him again, surrounded by a group of female clients, all tossing their hair and blinking an abnormal amount and giggling. 

Wei Wuxian felt strange seeing it. He was torn between hissing at them, and walking right up to Lan Zhan and kissing him right then and there. Or both. He was already half-way through a made-up conversation with HR about why this had been necessary when he noticed how uncomfortable Lan Zhan was looking. 

Right. It had been the same thing in high school whenever anyone flirted with him, and it had usually ended with him walking away without a word. Which obviously wouldn’t be good nowadays for their relationship with their clients.

Well, with all that Lan Zhan had done for Wei Wuxian, it was only fair that he returned the favour.

“Hi, ladies!” he said with a big smile. “I hope our Hanguang-Jun’s been taking good care of you?”

“Oh, yes, he’s been such a gentleman,” one of them said.

“That sounds like him,” Wei Wuxian said, catching Lan Zhan’s eye. “Always upholding the company’s values and … protocols.”

Lan Zhan swallowed and looked away, and Wei Wuxian snickered to himself, as he seemed to have found the perfect loophole – as long as he kept teasing Lan Zhan at work, he’d be safe.

“Will you be joining us for lunch?” another one said.

“Oh, I’d _love_ to,” he said. “As long as that’s alright with you, Lan Zhan?”

He was silent for a while before saying, “Mm.”

“Awesome! Right, ladies, lead the way!”

As they walked, Lan Zhan made his way between Wei Wuxian and the women, almost as if stating his territory, and it had Wei Wuxian's whole body prickle.

“How are you?” Lan Zhan asked in a low tone of voice. “Any headaches, dizziness, flashes?”

Ugh. And then on top of that, Lan Zhan was _caring,_ too. Maybe the workplace wasn’t safe after all – Wei Wuxian’s inner voice of reason was almost being overpowered, and he had a hard time remembering why it would be a bad idea to drag Lan Zhan into a supply closet, like, for _any_ reason. No, this wouldn’t do. He needed to shift his focus.

Wei Wuxian shook his head. “I’m good. Healthy as a horse. Hungry as one, too. – Meimei, promise we’re going somewhere with plenty of food, right?”

The woman in question giggled and nodded. For the next hour, Wei Wuxian flirted enough for both him and Lan Zhan, making the women (and Wei Wuxian) leave the latter all alone. But when they finally parted ways, Lan Zhan didn’t exactly look grateful.

“Hey, don’t be mad!” Wei Wuxian said. “I did that for you, you know.” As well as a way to distract himself from Lan Zhan, but he didn’t need to know that.

“For me?” His face was not impressed.

“Yeah. Don’t tell me you actually enjoyed it when all of their attention was directed at you?”

Lan Zhan pursed his lips. “You shouldn’t flirt with someone unless you are serious.”

Ugh. Jealous Lan Zhan was adorable. Wei Wuxian winked at him. “Don’t worry, Lan Zhan, I think you’re serious enough for the both of us.” Before he had the chance to investigate why this didn’t have the reaction he’d hoped for, Wen Chao was calling for him in an angry tone. “Right, sorry, gotta go. See you after work?”

Stone-faced, Lan Zhan said, “Mm,” and then Wen Chao was yelling again and Wei Wuxian knew he had to leave.

***

At the end of the day, Wei Wuxian felt all warm and tingly seeing Lan Zhan waiting for him by his desk, even though he knew that what awaited him was another night of _pure torture._

Maybe … maybe he should just give in? Other people seemingly could handle relationships without the help of mind-reading, why shouldn’t he?

“Hey,” he said. “Sorry I kept you waiting, Wen Chao’s in a mood – I’m not 100% sure, but I _think_ both his wife and mistress showed up to take him home from the police station the other night, and let’s just say they were not happy about it. I’m still trying to figure out who was responsible for giving him that black eye so I can send her some flowers.”

“He gave you more work again?” Lan Zhan said, his eyes darkening.

“Yeah, but don’t worry about it, I can handle it.”

Lan Zhan gave him another one of those indecipherable looks, but he didn’t say anything. It was obvious that he had something on his mind, though.

Trying to find an excuse to touch him, Wei Wuxian said, “You have something there,” and brushed off some non-existing lint from Lan Zhan’s suit.

_Say it, Wangji. ‘You don’t have to handle everything on your own.’ Just say it, and … and what? You’ll scare him off, that is what. It’s not like you’re exclusive or anything. No, take things slow like he asked you and_ maybe _you won’t ruin this._

Wei Wuxian swallowed as he removed his hand, almost feeling dirty for some reason.

Honestly, he was kind of glad that Lan Zhan hadn’t said any of it out loud, because he would still only have had to ignore it. Like, the only reason Lan Zhan kept offering his help was because Wei Wuxian had only let him see the tip of the iceberg of his issues. If he truly opened up and asked for his support with all of it, even the stoic Hanguang-Jun would crumble. 

At least this way, Wei Wuxian could still _imagine_ it was real. He could imagine that Lan Zhan would always be there for him, no matter what, rather than disappearing when it all became too much.

Wei Wuxian took a step back. Other people might be able to handle these sorts of things without mind-reading, but he was pretty sure he’d gotten his abilities as a way for the universe to say, _not you, though._

Ugh. Looked like he was up for some more agony tonight, and _not_ the fun kind.

***

Wei Wuxian tried to enjoy going home with Lan Zhan, tried to enjoy seeing his coat hanging next to Wei Wuxian’s jacket, tried to enjoy them cooking together, tried to enjoy Lan Zhan in loungewear next to him on the bed as they watched that horror show after all, but for some reason it all felt like play-pretend. Especially when he had to pull away as Lan Zhan offered to take his jacket, as Lan Zhan tried to cup his hand as Wei Wuxian gave him the tasting spoon, as Lan Zhan’s arm touched his when they sat next to each other. And the worst thing was that he could see how Lan Zhan’s lips tightened and his eyes dulled a little bit more each time it happened. Which obviously _wasn’t_ what Wei Wuxian wanted, but what other choice did he have?!

***

“Wen Qiiiing,” Wei Wuxian whined on his phone during his lunch break the next day. “I need your help.”

_“Is it about that guy again?”_ she said. _“Just so you know, I only have about ten minutes until my next client.”_

“Yeah. He’s staying at my place. And now I don’t know what to do.”

_“First he ignored you, now he’s staying at your place? It’s been less than 72 hours since we last talked. Have you ever heard of taking things slow?”_

“Yeah, no, that’s the problem. I’m trying, but I just …” Wei Wuxian realized this had been a bad idea. He didn’t wanna talk about his non-existing sex life with Wen Qing.

_“You shouldn’t do anything you’re not comfortable with, Wei Ying.”_

But that was the exact problem – Wei Wuxian was _very_ comfortable with having Lan Zhan close by. Too comfortable. It physically pained him to distance himself whenever Lan Zhan came too close for too long, or when he put his hand on Wei Wuxian’s wrist, or when he looked like he might be about to kiss him, or when they were lying _just a few inches from each other at night_ , but in order not to fuck things up, he had to.

Like, if he hadn’t had his ability, how would he have known that Lan Zhan was practically dying after tasting Wei Wuxian’s spicy soup last night, when his face didn’t reveal anything? Or that in his mind, he had said goodnight to his _bunnies_ when he’d been on a video call with his brother? Or how the reason Lan Zhan had been so upset about Wei Wuxian flirting with those clients was because he thought Wei Wuxian actually meant something with it?

“I knooooow,” Wei Wuxian said.

_“Just take things sl–”_ Wei Qing started, but was interrupted by a distant doorbell. _“Sorry, hold on, I think my client’s early – A-Yuan, can you please let her know I’ll be right there?”_

There was a muffled answer from A-Yuan, and Wei Wuxian could hear him get up from his desk.

_“I’ll call tonight, oka–”_ Wen Qing started, before she was interrupted by a door opening and a loud voice.

_“I’m here for my nephew’s dog,”_ someone grumbled. _“If you don’t give her back, I’m calling the police.”_ The voice was unmistakable, even after all these years. Wei Wuxian felt sick, but at the same time, he couldn’t find it in himself to hang up.

_“Sorry, I think there’s been –”_ A-Yuan said.

_“Jiang Cheng?”_ Wen Qing said, her voice distant. _“What are you doing here?”_

_“Qingqing?”_

For a moment, there was only silence on the other side of the phone.

_“I’m here to collect the dog,”_ he said after a while, obviously having composed himself.

Wei Wuxian was feeling so many things at once, his head was spinning, and he couldn’t really put the emotions into words.

Wen Qing’s voice appeared closer to the phone again, as she said, _“Sorry, Wei Ying, I gotta deal with this. Talk to you later.”_

_“Wei_ Ying?” Jiang Cheng spluttered, just before Wen Qing hung up.

Well, fuck.

***

“I looked for you during lunch today,” Lan Zhan said later that night, as he was rinsing some rice and Wei Wuxian was setting the table. 

“Huh?” Wei Wuxian said, distracted with trying to keep some space between them as he reached for glasses, even though it was impossible in a kitchenette that was clearly built for one. “Oh, yeah, I had to, um, call Wen Qing.” Wei Wuxian didn’t particularly feel like telling Lan Zhan about the rest of the conversation, or the maze of thoughts he’d been stuck in for the rest of the day.

“Oh.” As always, Lan Zhan’s face gave away nothing.

Feeling more and more like he was cheating, Wei Wuxian said, “Hand me those plates, won’t you?” 

Lan Zhan put down the rice and did as he’d asked.

_So he will not tell me why he was looking so distraught. Were they talking about me? Was he complaining about how I am imposing, how he constantly has to back away because I can’t help being too close? Or was it maybe something to do with his family? But he obviously does not want to talk about it. Should I … should I maybe tell him about mom? Maybe then he will see that I might understand?_

There was an image of a bare room, and a woman within, who smiled absent-mindedly and patted the young Lan Zhan on the head. 

Then, another image of what must have been Lan Zhan’s father, desperately knocking on the now locked door to the same room, before Lan Qiren hurriedly led Lan Zhan and his brother outside. 

Then, the young Lan Zhan in a black suit, on his knees outside that same door, eyes empty, knowing that no one would ever open it again.

Wei Wuxian pulled away, almost dropping the plates before shakingly putting them on the table.

Fuck. Was that …? Had that been …? He stared at Lan Zhan. He had a vague notion of knowing that Lan Zhan’s mom wasn’t around, but Wei Wuxian had always thought that because his parents had divorced or something. Not … not this.

And he couldn’t even ask Lan Zhan about it without revealing his clear breach of privacy.

Up until now, he hadn’t really considered the moral side of this whole thing. Or, rather, he’d ignored it with the logic that as long as what he heard concerned only himself, it wasn’t really wrong. But listening to Lan Zhan’s thoughts just now had made it clear just how disgusting it was what he was doing. Sure, Lan Zhan had been contemplating whether to tell Wei Wuxian or not – but he was still undecided.

“Are you alright?” Lan Zhan asked, making a move as if to catch Wei Wuxian’s arm to steady him, but Wei Wuxian backed away.

“Sorry, sorry,” Wei Wuxian mumbled. “I just … need some time to think.”

Lan Zhan didn’t say anything, but took a step backwards. After a moment or two, he turned to continue with making dinner.

They ate in silence, Wei Wuxian trying to make sense of what he’d just heard and how to deal with it and all of the other things that were currently happening all at once. His head was spinning again. He wished he could take the thoughts and feelings out of his head and examine them one by one. He wished that Lan Zhan would kiss him senseless so that he could forget about it all together. He wished he was a teenager again, when everything had seemed simpler.

After Lan Zhan had made the dishes, he cleared his throat and said, “I think I should be leaving.”

Wei Wuxian looked up, startled. “What?”

“We should probably stick to being just colleagues, would you not agree?” 

The words made Wei Wuxian’s ears ring, and his stomach felt like an empty pit. He felt like he’d missed two-thirds of the conversation that had led up to that.

He made a move as if to touch Lan Zhan in order to find out what the hell was going on, but Lan Zhan backed away. There was hesitation in his eyes, but rather than explaining, he just grabbed his coat and scarf and said, “I will see you at work.”

“Oh. Right.” Wei Wuxian pressed his lips together into a smile, whilst swallowing and blinking away what definitely wasn’t tears. “Yeah, no. Of course.”

Oh, god. Wei Wuxian had done it again. Tried to pull someone into the mess that was his life and had them deciding it was too much. 

Honestly, he didn’t even blame him.

Lan Zhan turned his back toward him, and said, “Goodnight.” In the shiny reflection of the window, Wei Wuxian could see how he pressed his eyes closed for a few seconds, while his Adam’s apple bobbed. 

And then he was gone.


	7. Chapter 7

Wei Wuxian had barely been able to sleep at all last night, tossing and turning, trying to figure out what to do. And when he finally did fall asleep, he was trapped by feverish nightmares – Jiang Cheng, Uncle Jiang and Ms Yu yelling at him and chasing him through a never-ending maze, while he tried to find Lan Zhan to no avail; a dark figure that turned out to be his own shadow piercing through the hearts of Jiang Yanli and her husband, and then, their corpses turned into rabid dogs, attacking him and tearing his flesh apart until there was nothing left of him.

Who needed a therapist when you had dreams that were so _extremely_ on the nose, eh?

Waking up, he felt even worse than before he’d gone to bed. He reminded himself over and over that his shijie and Jin Zixuan _hadn’t_ died, even though it’d been close, but he still couldn’t get rid of the dream image of their dead bodies on the ground.

Maybe his subconscious tried to tell him they might as well have, as he had not seen or spoken to any of them for the last 12 years. Not since right before the accident.

Desperate not to fall down that rabbit hole, he looked at his phone, holding onto the hope that maybe there’d be a message from Lan Zhan there, saying something that would take them back to where they’d been before last night. Or anything, really – anything that would distract him from his dreams, from his past. But instead he only had three missed calls from Wen Qing. Ugh.

He thought back to that night all those years ago. He didn’t actually remember much, more than what he’d been told by Nie Huaisang. It was the same day that the rest of them had received the results from their college entrance exams, and to celebrate (or in Wei Wuxian’s case, drown his sorrows for being kicked out of school), there had been a party, and probably more alcohol than there should have been. 

Wei Wuxian had been in a terrible mood because of Ms Yu’s comments on him effectively killing his academic career despite all they’d done for him, and ended up in a fight with some random guy who was acting sleazy towards some girl. Jiang Cheng had had to pull him away, and then scolded him for constantly dragging their family reputation in the dirt. With too much alcohol, the whole thing escalated, and soon they were pummeling each other. Someone had called Jiang Yanli, who was seven months pregnant at the time. She showed up with Jin Zixuan, telling them that it was probably time for them to head home. As both Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian had been drinking, they all got into Jin Zixuan’s car.

After that, Nie Huaisang hadn’t been able to give more details, other than what was in the official report – an SUV had run a red light, hitting them full speed, totalling the car.

So it hadn’t _technically_ been Wei Wuxian’s fault. But the fact remained that none of them would have been in that car at that time if it hadn’t been for him. 

And because of that, none of them had been there when he woke up.

Wei Wuxian slammed his hand into the wall.

For so long, he’d been managing without them, without anyone really. And just when he had started getting used to having someone around, that person backed away, too.

***

Monday at work, Wei Wuxian found himself glancing at Lan Zhan’s empty chair every ten minutes. But when he was done for the day, he still hadn’t seen him.

“He’s out of town,” Mianmian said, as they got ready to leave. “I don’t think he’ll be back all week.” 

“Oh.”

She looked at him. “Did something happen?”

“No, the opposite,” he heard himself say before he could stop himself.

She smiled at him. “I’m sure you’ll work it out.”

Wei Wuxian wasn’t so sure about that. Lan Zhan had literally said, “We should probably stick to being just colleagues,” since he obviously couldn’t stand Wei Wuxian’s on-and-off behaviour. And maybe they _would_ be better off like that. Or, at least Lan Zhan would be. It wouldn’t take long for him to find someone else, someone with less issues that could give him what he wanted and needed.

But what was Wei Wuxian then supposed to do with everything that had happened in the last week? Forget it? Ignore it? He’d literally been looking for Lan Zhan all day, just hoping to catch a glimpse of him to see how he was doing, even if he probably didn’t want to talk to Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian clicked on his name in the phone book, holding his thumb over the phone number. Trying not to overthink it, he pressed it and waited. And waited, and waited, and waited, until he was sent to voicemail and quickly ended the call.

Trying not to lose his nerve, he wrote a text instead. _Can we please talk?_ And then he stared at it for several minutes, hoping to will an answer into existence.

When the screen on the phone changed, he almost dropped the phone and was millimeters away from answering, until it registered that it said _Wen Qing is calling,_ not Lan Zhan. He clicked it.

He sat on the train for way too long, lost in thoughts, all concerning Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan looking out for him. Lan Zhan defending him. Lan Zhan caring for him. Lan Zhan smiling at something Wei Wuxian had said. His red earlobes when he was embarrassed. His micro expressions that Wei Wuxian was finally starting to get the hang of. 

He realized he’d missed his stop. However, if he changed at the next stop, and then again …

90 minutes later, he found himself outside of Lan Zhan’s apartment. Before he lost his courage, he pressed the door phone, first once, then twice.

No answer.

Well. Then he’d just sit here on the stairs until Lan Zhan turned up.

He’d said hello to about all of Lan Zhan’s neighbours, and actually been invited for tea by a sweet little lady who said it was about time someone that wasn’t his brother came to visit that polite young man who lived next door, when finally a tall figure appeared in front of Wei Wuxian.

“Lan Zhan!” he called out, getting to his feet. “I’m sorry, I –”

“Sorry, it’s just me,” Lan Xichen said with half a smile, carrying a grocery bag filled with lettuce, carrots and hay. “Wangji’s out of town, I’m afraid.” 

The disappointment seemed almost like a living thing. Still, Wei Wuxian didn’t move. “Yeah, no, I know. I just figured maybe he preferred sleeping at home rather than at some hotel.”

Lan Xichen looked at him. “Oh, no. He wouldn’t risk being late just for the sake of comfort – he takes work very seriously. In fact, my brother is very serious in all his commitments, but I guess you already know about that.” 

Wei Wuxian swallowed. “Yeah, no, I know.” He realized it was the second time he’d said that in about as many minutes.

Lan Xichen paused, looking as if he was pondering on whether to tell him something. “Did you know I was the one who told our uncle to hire you?”

Wei Wuxian had to process what he had just heard. “What?”

“Your CV and personal letter spoke for themselves, of course. But Uncle Lan was still hesitant – he’d heard of the entrance exam scandal, naturally. And Wangji wouldn’t say anything, neither to defend or condemn you. So I told our uncle to not listen to old rumours, but give you a chance to actually prove yourself.”

Wei Wuxian felt hot. Sometimes he managed to forget that most people knew about the scandal that had gotten him kicked out of high school, but it _had_ been on the national news and everything.

After all, it wasn’t that often someone was caught red-handed inside a vault where the already-answered exams were kept, as they were about to change the names of their own exam with someone else’s. (It was even less often that someone managed to do just that, without being caught. But given that Jiang Cheng had been able to get into one of the best colleges around, it was obvious that no one had ever found out about that part.)

To this day, Wei Wuxian still thought it had been worth it. The anguish Jiang Cheng had been going through after he (correctly) thought he’d completely messed up the exam had been enough to convince Wei Wuxian that Jiang Cheng wouldn’t have been able to handle the actual consequences of a poor test result, whereas Wei Wuxian was used to dealing with people around him being disappointed in him.

Wei Wuxian frowned at Lan Xichen. “Why?” 

He smiled a little. “Why do you think? For Wangji’s sake, of course. He’s been in love with you ever since you walked into that library for the first time.”

Wei Wuxian swallowed, not sure what to say. Lan Zhan … loved him? And had done so ever since high school? Wei Wuxian thought it had just been some recently discovered attraction mixed with a bit of a crush, and a dash of guilt and pity. Fuck. What had he done?

Putting down the grocery bag, Lan Xichen said, “Wei Wuxian. Why are you here?”

He pushed his hair out of his face. “I don’t know. I messed up. I wanna fix it.”

“I’m sure your intentions are good. But then what? What’s your aim?”

Wei Wuxian’s heart skipped a beat. “I – I don’t know,” he admitted.

Lan Xichen’s smile faded. “These last few days … I don’t think you can fully grasp how they’ve affected my brother.” Taking a breath, he continued, a little hesitant. “I’m not sure if you’re aware, but we lost our mother at a young age. I’m only telling you this because I know Wangji might appear strong and cold, but that is far from the truth. After your injury and its aftermath, he barely left his room for a whole year.” He sighed. “Now, I don’t know all of the more recent details between the two of you, but I know that there are only so many times that he can have his hope taken away from him and recover from it.” 

The words caused a stabbing pain in Wei Wuxian’s abdomen, and he felt like he was gonna be sick.

Lan Xichen looked Wei Wuxian in the eye. “So if you’re not serious, if you’re not as into him as he is into you, or if you’re not willing to put in the work …” He paused, looking for words. “Then please, just back away. Don’t continue playing with him. That’s just cruel.”

“I … I’m not –” Wei Wuxian started, without being able to finish. At least he hadn’t meant to, but he could see now that the one who’d truly been tortured through all of this had been Lan Zhan.

Lan Xichen smiled again, a sad and tired smile. “I’m certain you’ll know the right thing to do. Goodnight, Wei Wuxian.”

***

The right thing to do. The right thing to do.

One. Tell him you like him, and the reason you pulled away was because you didn’t want to violate his privacy _as you can read his goddamn mind,_ and watch him look at you like a lunatic who should be locked away.

Two. Tell him you like him, and the reason you pulled away was because you’ve never been with anyone before, and you’re scared of messing up, and watch him look at you with pity as he loses all interest.

Three. Don’t tell him anything. Respect the fact that he has had enough of your indecisiveness and hesitation. Save him from getting any closer to the mess that is you and your life. Go back to being co-workers, and the way you were living your life before this.

Looking at his options, Wei Wuxian obviously knew which one _logically_ was the right one, but there _had_ to be another way, right? 

Right?

***

Coming home, Wei Wuxian seriously considered drinking himself into a stupor even though it was a Monday night, and obviously one of the worst ideas ever.

But he just didn’t want to think. He didn’t want to remember. He didn’t want to not know what to do, or to say.

Because he was A Responsible Adult, he instead ended up doing the next best thing, which was binging some old, predictable 90s show whilst gorging on greasy, salty food until it was almost 2 a.m. and he had to get up in less than four hours. You know, the healthier choice.

Tuesday, he went to work, went home, ate, watched TV, ignored Wen Qing’s calls and texts, slept. Wednesday, he went to work, went home, ate, watched TV, ignored Wen Qing’s calls and texts, slept. Thursday …

***

“Wei Wu _xian_. We need to talk.”

Wei Wuxian looked up to see Wen Qing outside of his apartment. He made a face. “Do we really?”

Her eyes grew bigger. “‘Do we –?’ Yes, OBVIOUSLY. Were you ever going to tell me about the Jiangs?” she asked him as he unlocked his door.

Making a face, he said, “… no.” He went inside and threw the keys on the nearest surface.

“Wei Ying!” she said, following. “We’ve known each other for almost eight years!”

He turned to her. “Yeah, well, _you_ never told me you dated Jiang Cheng!”

“I might have if I’d known he was your foster brother!”

Wei Wuxian crossed his arms. “He wasn’t. I was just the former staff’s kid who had nowhere else to go.”

She paused and her face softened, looking as if she pitied him, and he _hated_ it. Then her brows furrowed. “Wait. I never _did_ tell you we dated.”

Wei Wuxian realized his mistake. Doing some quick thinking, he said, “I mean, _Qingqing._ Really?”

Wen Qing’s face turned red, and she didn’t press the subject any further.

“Anyway, based on your surprise, I guess he never told you about me, either?” he said.

“Not really. I knew he’d lost a brother somehow, but I assumed he’d died, not that they just acted like he did.”

Clenching his jaw, he said, “Well, now you know.”

She softened her voice. “I know _his_ side of it, not yours.”

“We got into a car crash, everyone almost died, it was my fault. There, happy?”

Taking a deep breath, she walked up to him and forced him to sit down on a kitchen chair. 

“Were you the idiot who ran a red light?” she asked.

He stared at the shiny table surface. “No.”

“Were you the one driving the car you were in?” 

“No, but –”

“Were you the only one fighting?” she interrupted.

“… no.”

She lowered her head to force him to look at her. “So it wasn’t your fault.”

“Yes,” he insisted. “If I hadn’t –”

“Wei Ying – _it wasn’t your fault.”_ Wei Wuxian felt his throat tighten. “I mean, did your actions have consequences? Yes. But so did your sister’s boyfriend’s, and A-Cheng’s, and your sister’s. You blaming yourself makes about as much sense as if I were to blame myself for being related to my cousin and uncle. _”_

“They blame me, though,” Wei Wuxian whispered, his voice hoarse. He could feel his eyes tearing up, and desperately tried to blink it away.

“What, who? Jiang Cheng and his family?” She lowered her voice. “Is that what you think?”

“I don’t think it, I know it.” It was painful to talk at this point.

Wen Qing shook her head. “Jiang Cheng’s only angry because you cut them out of your life, and didn’t even tell them why.”

He scoffed. Mixed with the crying, it mostly just sounded like a hick-up. “He’s angry I cut _them_ out?” 

“I’m sure he could’ve done more, too, but –” she started.

“That’s an understatement,” he said, and angrily wiped away the tears with the back of his hand.

Wen Qing frowned. “What do you mean?”

“They never even came to visit me in the hospital.”

“What?” She stared at him.

“I dunno about you, but to me, there’s not that many ways to interpret that.”

Shaking her head, she said, “That can’t be right. I mean, it doesn’t add up with what A-Cheng told me. Not that he said much, but still.”

“Maybe he –”

“He wouldn’t lie to me. He wouldn’t.”

He scoffed. “You’d be surprised by what people can do.”

She looked at him for several seconds, before getting to her feet.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“Where d’you think?”

“Wen Qing, there’s no need, please d–”

“No need? Are you kidding me? Either he’s lying to me, and then I’ll kick his ass, or something’s not right. Either way, I’m going to find out. You wanna come with?”

He made a face. “I’d rather press a hot branding iron into my naked flesh.”

“Fine. I’ll call you later.”


	8. Chapter 8

That Friday, Lan Zhan still wasn’t back at work. Maybe he was never coming back, Wei Wuxian thought. Maybe he’d moved to another department to get away from him. Maybe he’d moved to another city. Or another planet.

When their co-workers asked if Wei Wuxian was up for karaoke after work, he joined them. An hour in, he’d already lost count of how many drinks he’d had, but it was enough for him to get up and sing a very heartfelt _Tian Mi Mi_ (which, okay, was something he could’ve done fully sober, but the lyrics had never before quite spoken to him the way they did tonight).

As he sat down, Mianmian was inspecting him. After having made sure that the rest of their co-workers were occupied with _Bohemian Rhapsody_ , she said, “Okay, I’ve watched you mope all week and I can’t handle it anymore. What’s going on?”

Most of his filters were washed away by the alcohol, and he said with a smile, “I fucked up. Like I –” he hiccuped “– always do.”

“But you like him, don’t you? And he likes you.”

It wasn’t a question, Wei Wuxian noticed, and she didn’t even have to say who she was talking about. Since she was so blunt about it, he decided there was no use in denying it. “Yeah, well … it’s complicated.”

She made a face. “Have you talked about it? Or did he just stay silent, and you made a joke out of the entire thing?”

Wei Wuxian frowned. “What? That’s not … we’re not …”

“So that’s a yes, then.”

“I didn’t make a joke out of it. I wouldn’t do that to him.”

With a sad smile, she said, “Well, did you tell him how you feel?”

“He … he knows I’m interested.”

She stopped. “That’s not what I meant. Did you tell him why you’re scared? Why you’re hesitating? Or ask him why he might be, too?”

Wei Wuxian’s skin crawled. God, was it possible that she was a mind reader, too? “How d’you know that?” he asked, voice rough. “That I’m … scared?”

She laughed a little, shaking her head. “It doesn’t exactly take super powers, does it? We’re all scared, one way or another.” She pressed his hand. _As if I wasn’t scared when I met A-Hao. Afraid to let him in, see my flaws, my ugly sides. To tell him my deepest secrets, knowing that he might not like what he heard._ “You just need to decide whether it’s worth being brave, despite that.”

“I think I prefer ‘ignore him and get a cat.’”

She laughed again. “I mean, if against all odds it doesn’t work out, that option still stands.” When she saw his face, she added, “Wei Wuxian. It’s going to. He’s crazy about you.” 

A smile crept onto her face as she glanced behind him. 

“… as I was saying. Oh yeah, I texted him saying we were here. You’re welcome.”

Wei Wuxian turned around, and there, standing in the door to the karaoke room, he was. It was as if the background noise stopped and everything was silenced. For a split-second, Wei Wuxian realized that he could either say something, or stay silent and go back to a life full of weeks like the last one. He immediately sobered up.

“Lan Zhan!”

He stood up, almost involuntarily, as if Lan Zhan was a magnet pulling him towards him.

“Lan Wangji, I’m sorry! I’ve been an idiot! I’ve –”

Mianmian came up to them and gently pushed them outside of the room, away from the prying eyes of their colleagues.

For a moment, Wei Wuxian was afraid that Lan Zhan would walk away, or that he himself would lose his courage, but when he looked back at him, the feeling from before grew.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I’m sorry for acting weird. I was so afraid of doing the wrong thing, of losing you, that I ended up pushing you away. Because I like you. A lot. Like, a _lot,_ a lot.”

The silence that followed was harrowing, but at least now he’d said it. He couldn’t do more than that. (And yes, he was aware that this was the opposite of Wen Qing’s advice of taking it slow, but if you really thought about it, this had been going on for about 15 years, so really, it was about time someone did something about it.)

Lan Zhan’s voice was hoarse and cautious. It was barely audible over the rhythmic baselines and off-key vocals coming from the nearby rooms. “You like me?”

Wei Wuxian nodded, encouraged by the fact that Lan Zhan hadn’t just scoffed and stared. “And not as a co-worker, obviously. Well, that, too, ‘cause you’re an awesome co-worker, but mainly as, you know, _more_. I wanna date you, Lan Zhan. I wanna kiss you and hug you and sleep with you and wake up next to you in the morning. Every day. For the foreseeable future.”

Lan Zhan was silent. He looked so different in the flashing neon lights amidst the dark. “You want to date me,” he finally said, his voice catching.

There was a flutter in Wei Wuxian’s stomach, and he took a step closer. “Yes.”

“Kiss me and hug me.”

“Yes!” Another step.

“Sleep with me. Wake up next to me in the morning.”

_“Yes!”_ Another step, and now they were close enough to hear each other’s breaths.

For a few moments, they both stood there, silently.

And then Lan Zhan took the final step. He embraced him so tightly it almost hurt, his face pressed against Wei Wuxian’s neck, the way someone would cling to a ship’s mast on a stormy sea. His body was trembling, Wei Wuxian noticed.

For a moment, Wei Wuxian forgot about everything else, and just gave into it, pulling Lan Zhan close, feeling his warmth, his breath, his racing heartbeat. Wei Wuxian let his hand slowly brush up and down his back. 

_He likes me. He likes me. Is this really happening? God, I am about to cry. Maybe this is only a dream, and I –_

Wincing, Wei Wuxian put a gentle hand on Lan Zhan’s chest, pushing him away just an inch. “Wait,” he whispered. “I … I can’t believe I’m saying this, but …” Lan Zhan gave him a confused stare, and his body stiffened. Quickly, Wei Wuxian added, “There’s something I need to tell you. And … and then you can decide what you want to do.”

***

They walked outside, where it was calm and silent in comparison to inside. The cold wind washed away the last of the effects of the alcohol, and all that was left was an ever so slight feeling of doom. Lan Zhan stayed a few inches away, and Wei Wuxian _hated_ it. He needed to do this quick, and he needed to do this now, and then _hopefully_ Lan Zhan would be willing to pick up where they’d left off.

Wei Wuxian led them to a bench under a few trees, softening the harsh light of the street lights. “Okay, so first thing first,” he said. “Please, remember the part where I said I like you, okay? Second, I _know_ this is gonna sound crazy, so hear me out.”

“Alright.” Lan Zhan had collected himself back into his usual stone-faced self, and Wei Wuxian hated that, too.

Wei Wuxian tried to think of the best way to do this, only to realize that there were no good ways. “Okay, so I know you probably don’t give a rat’s ass about urban legends, and I didn’t either, until, like, two weeks ago. But, um …”

“Is it the one Wen Chao is obsessed with?” Lan Zhan said with disgust. Then he paused and swallowed, as if he understood the implications of his own words.

Wei Wuxian ignored his own embarrassment and said, “Think of a number.” 

“Excuse me?”

“It doesn’t matter which, just pick one.” He smiled a little, and picked up Lan Zhan’s hand, immediately hearing his stream of thoughts. _What is going on? I am so confused, I –_ “Please, humour me.”

“Alright.” _Two. The things I’d do f–_

Wei Wuxian quickly let go of his hand, not wanting to hear more than he needed to. “Two.”

Lan Zhan knitted his brows. “That’s correct.” He opened his mouth as if to say something, and then closed it again. “I do not understand,” he finally said.

Wei Wuxian resisted saying, _Surpriiiise – I’m a mind reader!_ as he remembered Mianmian’s comment about him turning serious situations into jokes. Instead he said, “I, um, can hear your thoughts when I touch you.”

The furrow between Lan Zhan’s brows deepened. 

“I know you don’t believe me – fuck, I wouldn’t either – but remember my birthday in the elevator? It was super crowded.” Wei Wuxian swallowed. “That’s when I realized I could hear your thoughts … and that you were into me.”

Lan Zhan turned paler.

“Since, you know, you thought I smelled good, and had a, um, biteable neck.”

Lan Zhan stared at Wei Wuxian, like the concept slowly dawned on him, and the horror in his eyes grew. “Oh, god.” He let out a sound that made it seem he was being deflated. 

Right. So they probably _wouldn’t_ pick up where they’d left off after this. Well then, in that case, Wei Wuxian might as well continue. “I … I need to tell you something else. Something I had no right hearing. I … I saw you outside your mom’s room, when it … when she passed, and after. I’m so sorry about that, too. Both for eavesdropping, and … and for your loss. I’m not even going to ask you to forgive me. If you can’t, I understand.”

Lan Zhan was still like a statue for several seconds. Taking a deep breath, he finally said, “It’s alright.”

Wei Wuxian felt frustrated at Lan Zhan’s lack of reaction. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do. I wanted to … I wanted to tell you about it. I should have. Not just with that, but with many things. That was actually why I came tonight – to apologize for being so … me. So it’s alright.”

Wei Wuxian stared at him, and his aggravatingly stone-faced features. 

“No, it’s not!” Wei Wuxian insisted. “I mean,  _ yes,  _ please, tell me more things when  _ you  _ want to, but that still doesn’t mean it’s right for someone to hear exactly everything that goes on inside another person’s mind! And even if you might’ve told me that sooner or later, before that, there were so many other things you never, ever would have told me!”

Lan Zhan glanced at him. “… like what?”

His tone made Wei Wuxian hesitate. Still, he answered truthfully. “You … you don’t like spicy food. You bought that iced coffee for me especially. You say goodnight to your bunnies. But also … um … when I spent the night at your place … the, um, bathtub fanta–”

_“Oh, god.”_ Lan Zhan’s eyes widened with horror. He was quiet for a long time, until he finally whispered, “I’m so sorry. I never meant for … I didn’t mean … I’m _sorry!_ ”

Wei Wuxian looked at him. “Why are _you_ apologizing? I’m the one who should be apologizing! I shouldn’t have listened as much as I did, and you shouldn’t have to guard yourself in your own _mind_ of all places! That’s one of the reasons I pulled away, because I realized how wrong it was of me to … to use you like that, in a twisted way of getting closer, without you even knowing. So _I’m_ sorry!” He paused, trying to find the right words. 

Lan Zhan’s voice was strained. “What else?”

Wei Wuxian hesitated again, not wanting to say the wrong thing. “… you didn’t think I was interested in you, and you were beating yourself up about it. And you were really worried when I’d been assaulted, and um, then, in the cab … you, um …”

Lan Zhan’s back remained unnaturally straight. “Please, forget about that,” he said, his voice strained. “That was unforgivable.”

“Lan Zhan, I told you, you don’t have to apologize. That’s …” He paused, putting together what he’d just heard. “Wait, you think I’m upset about those things? Your fantasies?”

Swallowing, Lan Zhan said, “Well … yes. Understandably so. That is the other reason why you backed away, is it not?”

“No. Not even a little bit. Or, sometimes, _yes,_ but only because I thought I needed this ability to not fuck things up between us, and see how well that went.” 

Lan Zhan frowned, as if he wasn’t following.

“It was fucking _hot,_ Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian tried not to chuckle but failed. “Like, what do you think made me realize I was into you in the first place? The bathtub one kept me awake all night.”

Lan Zhan’s ears were burning red, and the colour was spreading to his neck and cheeks, too. He glanced at him, but he wouldn’t say anything.

Unable to interpret his face, Wei Wuxian said, “I can only read your mind if we touch, and I am trying my hardest right now not to do that, so please just tell me what you’re thinking.”

Closing his eyes, Lan Zhan said in a low tone of voice, “You still like me? Despite all that you have heard?”

“Despite?” Relieved, Wei Wuxian laughed. “Lan Zhan, are you even listening? I like you even more _because_ of it.” 

He was silent for a long time, until the corner of his mouth twitched. “Mm?”

“Mm-hmm,” Wei Wuxian answered. “You’re adorable, and caring, and so goddamn attractive that I don’t even know what to do with myself. But,” he added hesitantly, “question is, do you still like _me_ ? I know you don’t open up easily, and I _know_ I’ve broken your trust, but I was hoping that … that you could maybe forgive me?”

Lan Zhan became quiet again. 

Maybe … maybe it wasn’t enough. Maybe there was no making up for something like this. Maybe –

Looking straight at him, Lan Zhan said, “If what you said is true, you know how I feel.” 

A weight came off of Wei Wuxian’s shoulders. Still, he teasingly said, “You’re giving me too much credit, Lan Zhan. I’m a lot dumber than I look.”

At first, it seemed that Lan Zhan wouldn’t humour him. But then, clearing his throat, he said, “… I like you, too. Still.”

Wei Wuxian’s grin grew to 100%, and he felt warm all over. “Yeah?”

They looked at each other, and Wei Wuxian lost track of everything, except for the need to be close. Lan Zhan started to lean forward, and touched Wei Wuxian’s waist, before he paused. _Wait, does all of this mean he’s also a –_

Wei Wuxian scrunched his nose embarrassedly, pulling away. “Yup. I’m a virgin. I understand if that’s a turn-off, but I promise I’d be _very_ willing to make up for lost time.” He paused. “Wait … ‘also’?”

Lan Zhan stared at him, and then attacked him with an almost aggressive kiss. _He’s right – he_ is _dumber than he looks,_ he thought, pressing Wei Wuxian back towards the bench. _God. Wait. You can hear this. I am sorry. I don’t think you are dumb. It is just that the idea of finding anything about you a turn-off is ridiculous. Ugh, just the thought of being the first to –_

Lan Zhan pulled away, his earlobes red again. “Sorry.”

“No need to apologize,” Wei Wuxian smirked. “I liked where that was going.”

Lan Zhan’s Adam’s apple bobbed, and his breathing was strained.

Wei Wuxian analyzed the situation. Okay, so picking up where they’d left off _wasn’t_ off the table, he realized with a grin. But at the same time, Lan Zhan (understandably) wasn’t comfortable letting him continue to hear his thoughts.

“Um. So. I get that you don’t want me in your head,” Wei Wuxian said. “But I’m guessing there’s a way to fix that …” He lowered his voice. “… if you’re willing to deal with it for a little bit longer.” 

Lan Zhan swallowed again, then nodded.

***

They grabbed a cab back to Lan Zhan’s place, and in the car, Wei Wuxian rested his hand millimeters from Lan Zhan’s, as close as he could without actually touching him. Lan Zhan’s knuckles turned white as his hand formed into a fist, and Wei Wuxian swore he could feel the presence of his skin through the air. He didn’t even dare look at him, fearing that they’d scar the cab driver for life.

They kept a good six feet’s distance between each other as they walked across the street and into the building, as if they were suitors from an old historical movie. Ugh. Lan Zhan would look _great_ in historical clothing … and even better without it. Wei Wuxian’s breath caught in his throat when he realized that would happen very, _very_ soon.

Still, Wei Wuxian tried keeping his distance in the tiny elevator, but then he caught that wild look in Lan Zhan’s eyes in the mirror as he stared at Wei Wuxian’s neck, and couldn’t look away. Within seconds, Lan Zhan had pushed him against the wall, fiercely kissing him again.

Oh, god.

_I don’t care,_ Lan Zhan thought. _I’ll let you hear everything as long as I can have you._

Oh, _god._

Wei Wuxian pulled him closer, his hands in Lan Zhan’s hair, on his chest, around his waist. Lan Zhan moved his mouth to Wei Wuxian’s neck and – oh god. As Lan Zhan’s teeth bit his skin, Wei Wuxian let out an embarrassing moan, which made Lan Zhan press against him even harder.

Soon there wasn’t a single coherent word coming from Lan Zhan’s mind, but Wei Wuxian could feel a storm of emotions, amplifying his own. He wasn’t thinking straight, either – all he could think about was being closer and having more.

As the elevator reached Lan Zhan’s floor, they stumbled out of it, barely letting go of each other as Lan Zhan struggled with the key.

And then they were inside the apartment, and they closed the door behind them. Lan Zhan let go of him for just a second, and Wei Wuxian realized how strained both of their breaths were.

“Are you sure?” Lan Zhan mumbled. “We aren’t moving too fast?”

Despite that just having been a stupid lie on Wei Wuxian’s part, the words brought him back to reality and suddenly he felt very self-aware. He had no idea what would happen next, or who should do what, or when, or where. He hesitated, not knowing what to say.

“It’s alright if we are. We don’t … we don’t have to tonight, if you don’t want to,” Lan Zhan said breathlessly. 

That reassurance seemed to cure Wei Wuxian’s hesitation. He wanted Lan Zhan (like a LOT), and he knew that Lan Zhan wouldn’t judge him for his inexperience. “No, I want to,” he said in a low tone of voice.

Lan Zhan smiled at him. 

Ugh. That smile might be as small and fleeting as a butterfly’s flapping wings, but it transformed Lan Zhan’s entire face, and the reaction inside of Wei Wuxian was a typhoon of emotions. And he was maybe starting to figure out what it all meant.


	9. Chapter 9

Wei Wuxian opened his eyes to the warm light of the early morning sun through a large, unfamiliar window. There was someone next to him – or rather, under him, as he had his arm draped over the man’s chest.

_Lan Zhan,_ Wei Wuxian realized with a sensation inside of him as warm as the sun.

And, despite them being skin to skin, he heard nothing. Only silence. 

It felt a bit empty, Wei Wuxian noticed, but at the same time he welcomed it, because that meant he could cling to Lan Zhan as much as he wanted without having to worry about hearing things he shouldn’t, or breaking his trust. He’d never let go, he decided. Not even if Lan Zhan needed to go to the bathroom. _Suck it up,_ Wei Wuxian thought. _You’re stuck with me now._ He pressed his lips against Lan Zhan’s shoulder.

Lan Zhan was already awake, of course. When he noticed that Wei Wuxian was up, too, a bright smile spread on his lips. “Good morning.”

“Ugh, it really _is_ as sweet as honey,” Wei Wuxian said.

“What?”

“Your smile.” He pulled his head up and kissed him softly, while half-singing, half-mumbling, _“Tián mì mì, nǐ xiào de tián mì mì,”_ which had Lan Zhan rolling his eyes and trying to cover Wei Wuxian’s mouth with his hand to make him stop. 

Acting on an impulse, Wei Wuxian licked the palm of Lan Zhan’s hand with the tip of his tongue just to see what would happen – turned out, that was the _perfect_ way to make the polite Lan Zhan disappear without a trace only to be replaced with the feral one. Wei Wuxian might have a somewhat poor memory, but he’d be sure to remember that.

However, now wasn’t the time. Wei Wuxian almost felt like he was committing sacrilege when he put a hand against Lan Zhan’s chest, pushing his teeth away from Wei Wuxian’s neck.

“This former virgin needs a break,” he said. “I think I was a bit naive with the whole ‘every day’ thing.”

There definitely was a disappointed look in Lan Zhan’s eyes that mirrored how Wei Wuxian felt. But then he asked, “Are you really that sore?”

Wei Wuxian winced and nodded. “Sorry.”

Lan Zhan kissed him slowly. “Don’t apologize,” he said. “If anything, I think _I_ should apologize. Maybe I was a bit too … enthusiastic.” His earlobes turned red. 

Wei Wuxian brushed his fingers through Lan Zhan’s hair. “Not possible.”

Lan Zhan cleared his throat. “Anyway … there are other things we could do, if you’d like?”

“My, my, Zhan-ge. You’ve really done your research, haven’t you?” Wei Wuxian grinned, which made Lan Zhan blush all over, down to his chest.

After that, they stayed in bed, wrapped in the protective layer of the duvet, kissing and caressing and making up for lost time, for what seemed both an eternity and the blink of an eye.

Finally, when their stomachs had already been growling for quite some time, Lan Zhan released himself from Wei Wuxian’s arms and folded away the cover.

“Noooo, don’t get up,” Wei Wuxian whined. “Stay.”

“It’s already past 9,” Lan Zhan said.

“Exactly – it’s still _early._ Come on, this is what Saturdays are _for_.”

“We’ve been in bed for almost 12 hours.”

“The best 12 hours of my life.” 

Wei Wuxian wasn’t exaggerating, despite it having been far from perfect. Even though they had both been very … enthusiastic, it had sometimes been very clear that neither of them had done any of this before, but rather than being awkward, it had just made him feel even closer to Lan Zhan. And honestly, nothing sounded better to Wei Wuxian than the idea of getting to learn and get better and experience it all with him.

Lan Zhan smiled a little. “Do you not want breakfast? Freshen up, wash yourself?”

At first, Wei Wuxian felt like saying no, because that meant washing away their night together, but then he realized something. “In the bathtub?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Lan Zhan swallowed, and his ears went from white to red. 

Suddenly Wei Wuxian was _very_ willing to leave the bed.

***

“Okay, but when _did_ you actually fall for me?”

They were watching a movie (though if someone had asked for a summary, they probably wouldn’t have been satisfied with the answer), and Wei Wuxian was draped over Lan Zhan. He was switching between feeding himself lotus seeds, and putting them in Lan Zhan’s mouth. And, you know, maybe letting his thumb stay, tracing the outlines of Lan Zhan’s soft lips.

“Was it when watching me bend down to place the returned library books to the lower shelves?” he teased.

Lan Zhan cleared his throat and refused to look at Wei Wuxian.

“Oh my god!” he called out. “You _did_ fantasize about me already back then, didn’t you?”

Lan Zhan’s face neither denied nor confirmed it, but his silence sure did.

“I’m gonna need to hear about those fantasies at some point.”

“No.”

Wei Wuxian gave Lan Zhan his best puppy eyes. _“Please?”_ he said, but Lan Zhan remained stoic. 

Well, they’d see about that. 

“You should’ve made a move back then,” Wei Wuxian said. “Then maybe I would’ve realized sooner why I couldn’t leave you alone.”

Lan Zhan once again stared at him like he was the dumbest person in the world.

Wei Wuxian knitted his brows. “What? Lan Zhan, you can’t call glaring at people flirting. Or, if you do, we need to have a serious talk about the way you look at Wen Chao.”

All Lan Zhan did to reply was to roll his eyes.

Frowning, Wei Wuxian tried to remember their interaction back in high school. “That time you called me Wei gege doesn’t count either. You were drunk.”

Finally he got an actual response. “Because _you_ spiked the punch. At the middle school dance _we_ were chaperoning.” 

“In my defence,” Wei Wuxian said with a grin as he remembered the most entertaining detention of his life, “I only spiked yours and mine, and it was just with Bacardi Breezer. How was I supposed to know you would pass out among the benches?” He traced the curve of Lan Zhan’s shoulder with his index finger. “Anyway, I’m actually glad you’re so terrible at flirting, because otherwise you’d been taken a long time ago, and then we wouldn’t be here, would we?”

Lan Zhan shook his head. “Mm-mm.” 

Wei Wuxian elbowed him gently. “You’re not supposed to _agree,_ you know _._ ”

“I wasn’t.” After a moment of hesitation, Lan Zhan whispered, “What I meant was … it’s only ever been you.”

Something fluttered in Wei Wuxian’s chest. “What? No one else?”

He shook his head again.

“No one? No office crushes, no blind dates, no awkward hook-ups?” Wei Wuxian asked. “You’ve … you’ve never even kissed anyone before?”

That made Lan Zhan look at him as if he was questioning his IQ again, and for a second, Wei Wuxian wondered if he’d prodded too deep. 

But then, Lan Zhan was suddenly on top of Wei Wuxian, pinning first his right wrist to the wall, then the left one. Aggressively, and with that wild look back in his eyes, he pressed his mouth against Wei Wuxian’s, and used his lips and tongue in a way that made Wei Wuxian dizzy. After a few seconds, he bit down on Wei Wuxian’s lower lip with quite a lot of force, before pulling away just enough to put some distance between their faces. Lan Zhan was breathing heavily, his chest raising and falling.

Something clicked at the familiarity of the situation.

“You. It was you,” Wei Wuxian said, out of breath and unable to move, just the way he’d been almost fifteen years ago.

His first breathtaking, knee-buckling kiss in that closet. It had been with Lan Zhan. Everything felt like it sort of fell into place.

“Mm.”

“Wait. Was that why you punched a hole in that wall later that night?”

Reluctantly, Lan Zhan said, “You said you’d been making out with different girls all night.”

Wei Wuxian started smiling. “And you believed me?”

Lan Zhan shrugged, which was a first.

“I was so full of shit back then. That was my first kiss, too, you know.”

Lan Zhan’s grip around Wei Wuxian’s wrists softened, and he interlocked their hands. “Mm?”

“Yeah. And I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.” Lowering his voice, he said, “I guess, looking back, it’s kinda obvious – it’s only ever been you for me, too.”

Lan Zhan smiled.

After that, they paid absolutely zero attention to the movie.

***

After a weekend of being disgustingly happy together (not that Wei Wuxian was sorry or anything, other than possibly for that sweet lady next door who’d had a hard time meeting their eyes ever since that first night, because apparently the walls weren’t that soundproof), he finally had to go home (momentarily, as Lan Zhan had suggested that since his place was closer to work and he had more room than he had use for, why didn’t Wei Wuxian bring over some clothes and whatever else he might need? If it was possible to explode from happiness, Wei Wuxian was pretty sure that was going to happen any second now).

Whistling, he cleaned and made the dishes and the bed and threw away things from the fridge that he no longer recognized. As he waited for his laundry to get ready, there was a knock on the door – probably Lan Zhan, who hadn’t been too happy when he’d heard that all Wei Wuxian was planning on eating today was noodles, and had said he’d come over after he’d been to the store to pick up some supplies.

With a grin, Wei Wuxian opened the door.

The grin froze, then disappeared. The happiness he’d been feeling felt as if it had been washed down a drain.

Jiang Cheng stared at him, his hands in fists and his jaw clenched, then pushed his way into the apartment. 

He looked older, harsher. 

“Why the fuck have you been talking shit to Wen Qing?” Jiang Cheng asked.

“I … what?” What weird parallel universe was this?

Jiang Cheng stared at him. “Don’t act like you don’t know. You know what you said to her.”

Wei Wuxian clenched his jaw. If he’d thought that time would have softened Jiang Cheng’s resentment towards him, he’d been wrong. 

Jiang Cheng scoffed, apparently annoyed just by the look on Wei Wuxian’s face. “Right, I forgot. Wei Wuxian is always the victim of external forces, and never the one to blame. Listen, I don’t know what kinda game you’re playing, but I’m _warning_ you …”

Wei Wuxian sighed, over their argument before it had even started. “Jiang Cheng. It’s all in the past.” He didn’t have the energy for this. He didn’t want this old wound to steal from his current happiness.

“In the past?” Jiang Cheng glared at him. “Dad was heart-broken when he passed away last year, because _you_ weren’t there.”

Wei Wuxian felt cold. “Uncle Jiang’s dead?” 

“Yeah. Mom, too. Not that you’d care.”

“How?” he said in a low tone of voice. He had to sit down.

“What’s it to you?” Jiang Cheng taunted him.

They were the only people even close to parental figures that he’d ever known, the only ones he could remember, he felt like saying, but didn’t. 

For a moment, it seemed that Jiang Cheng softened. “Heart attack, and cancer,” he said. 

Wei Wuxian hadn’t been prepared for the physical pain that followed, or the realization that even if you had already lost something, it was possible to lose it all over again. 

He wanted to ask when their funerals had been, and where their graves were, but decided against it.

The softness that had momentarily crossed Jiang Cheng’s face disappeared. “Anyway. You better not fill Wen Qing’s head with any more lies. In fact, you should stay away from her all together. She’s better off without you.”

Wei Wuxian stared at him, determined to not cry. “Are you done?”

Jiang Cheng scoffed, then shook his head. “Yeah, I’m done.” He pulled the door open, only to walk into Lan Zhan, standing there with a grocery bag. Wei Wuxian felt a surge of relief going through his body.

“You?” Jiang Cheng’s voice was full of disbelief. “Long time, no see,” he sneered.

“Jiang Wanyin.” Lan Zhan gave him a short nod, before looking at Wei Wuxian. For some reason, he dropped the bag on the floor and hurried over. He fell to his knees and took his hand. “Wei Ying, are you alright?” he said under his breath.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Wei Wuxian mumbled, his voice breaking slightly.

They were interrupted by a scoff. “Of fucking _course_. Why am I even surprised?” Jiang Cheng slammed the door shut behind them, without even looking back.

Wei Wuxian stared at the door. His heart was pounding in his chest, and it felt like his breakfast was gonna come back up again. The last few minutes had been like a roller coaster through hell, but the words with which Jiang Cheng had left made him angrier than all of the rest put together. 

It took a few seconds before he realized that Lan Zhan was saying his name. 

He tore his eyes off the door, and glanced at Lan Zhan, who with a worried look stroked Wei Wuxian’s shoulder. The mix of emotions became too much, and angrily, Wei Wuxian felt his eyes tear up.

“It’s alright,” Lan Zhan whispered, pulling him into a firm hug. And just like that, the anger washed away, and all that was left was the feeling of loss and confusion.

“I’m sorry,” Wei Wuxian mumbled. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?”

“That you had to hear him say that … that you have t-to put up with me like this.”

Lan Zhan pulled away a little, looking at Wei Wuxian with knitted brows. “Wei Ying …” he said in a low tone of voice. “I don’t mind.” He paused, probably to find the right words. “It’s not putting up with. Not when it’s you.”

Wei Wuxian felt something inside him that he couldn’t really put into words, but he thought it had something to do with never before having had anyone tell him they cared for him without expecting something in return. Well, maybe Shijie, before he ruined everything. Unable to control himself, a sob went through his body.

Lan Zhan pulled him back into his arms, and they stayed like that for several minutes.

Finally, Lan Zhan asked, “Why was he here?”

“He …” Wei Wuxian cleared his throat. “Wen Qing found out about the accident, and the Jiangs cutting me off. They … they used to date, so she went to talk to him, to find out why. But, um, it seems we have different opinions on what happened.”

“The Jiangs cut you off?” Lan Zhan asked in a low tone of voice.

“Mm.”

“When?”

“After the accident.”

Lan Zhan frowned. “But he and Mr Jiang came to see you every day. Your sister, too, once she was well enough. She even brought the baby so you could meet him.”

Wei Wuxian looked at him. That couldn’t be right, could it? If they had come to see him, that would mean … but why had they not been there once he’d woken up?

And on top of that, there was something else that didn’t add up. “How do you know they came to visit every day?”

Lan Zhan’s ear reddened. “I, um, was there, too.”

Wei Wuxian slowly put together what he’d seen and heard through Lan Zhan’s mind. 

The image of Wei Wuxian in the hospital bed. His worry when he’d seen Wei Wuxian, bloody and on the ground. The weirdly familiar sheet music that Wei Wuxian had found by Lan Zhan’s guqin, that had seemed like from some strange dream.

Wei Wuxian started whistling on what he remembered of the melody. Only now was he starting to grasp the full depth of it.

Lan Zhan had been there, every day, waiting for Wei Wuxian to wake up.

The blush spread to Lan Zhan’s neck. “You … you were awake?”

Wei Wuxian shook his head. “No, um. But I seem to remember it, anyway.” He took a breath. “But if … if you came to see me every day. Why weren’t you there when I woke up?”

Lan Zhan stiffened. He got to his feet and walked over to the window. “You … you don’t recall?”

Wei Wuxian shook his head again.

“I, um. I was,” Lan Zhan said. “I think I was the first one. And I was so over the moon that I … you really do not remember?” 

Wei Wuxian shook his head a third time. “Please tell me.”

It took a few seconds before Lan Zhan started speaking again. “I, um, I told you how I felt. And you just stared at me, looking disgusted, and you wouldn’t say anything. So I …” He trailed off.

He’d taken it as rejection, Wei Wuxian realized. His stomach felt like a pit.

“Lan Zhan, I …” he started, desperate to explain. “That entire first week is a blur. I don’t remember anything. The nurses told me I was angry and confused, and even though I was awake, I wouldn’t remember anything of it. I think … I don’t think I even recognized you, or knew who you were. I’m so sorry.” 

He got to his feet, too, and walked closer, looking at the man standing in front of him, who’d been there for him all along without him even knowing.

Putting his arms around him, he said, “I’m so sorry I didn’t give you an answer back then, but I’ll give you one now.” He lowered his voice. “I love you, Lan Zhan.”

At first, there was no reaction. It was like holding a marble statue. But then, there was a tremble, and as something cold and wet fell on his shoulder, Wei Wuxian realized that Lan Zhan was crying.

He held him tighter as he felt his own tears welling up again, and realized it was pointless trying to stop them.

Lan Zhan pressed him closer. “Wei Ying,” he breathed raggedly against his skin. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Wei Wuxian wasn’t prepared for it, what those words would do to him. There was an excited surge in his stomach, and he laughed a little, but it was mixed with fear, because the words also made him realize what he now had to lose.

Wei Wuxian whispered the words again, feeling Lan Zhan shudder in his arms, and wiped the tears off his cheeks. They stayed like that for a long time, whispering the words back and forth, each time enjoying the other’s reaction, lost in this new world of theirs.


	10. Chapter 10

At first, despite everything, Wei Wuxian contemplated honouring Jiang Cheng’s wish for him to leave Wen Qing alone, but that only lasted for about 36 hours.

“Your phone’s ringing again,” Lan Zhan said. He was playing the guqin while Wei Wuxian was lounging on the sofa, petting one of his rabbits (it was hard to tell them apart, but Lan Zhan had said that this was Sizhui. So far, Wei Wuxian knew it to be the one that _didn’t_ bite him. It did drool, though).

“I know.”

“You should answer it.”

“I know.”

“Wei Ying. Forget about Jiang Wanyin. Just talk to her.”

“Fiiiine,” he sighed, though he secretly felt relieved hearing Lan Zhan say that. He picked up the phone. “Hey, Qingqing.”

_“Oh god, don’t ever call me that again. Also, why are you ignoring me again? If it’s because you’re still in your icky sweet love bubble, I’ll allow it a bit longer, but if it’s because of something Jiang Cheng said …”_

Wei Wuxian had briefly mentioned in a text that Jiang Cheng had “stopped by,” but Wen Qing was smart enough to figure out it hadn’t exactly been a sugarsweet reunion filled with cupcakes and rainbows.

“Yeah, no, sorry. It’s the love bubble thing. We’re just at it 24/7, like bunnies, you know.” He scratched Sizhui behind its ear.

Lan Zhan gave him an admonishing look, and Wei Wuxian blew him a kiss, which made his ears blush. (It had become a new hobby of Wei Wuxian’s, to figure out what would and wouldn’t do just that. Turned out, it was most things, as long as Wei Wuxian was scandalous enough about it.)

_“TMI, Wei Ying. Anyway, sounds like it’d be good for you to take a break. How about you two come over for dinner Friday night? We really wanna meet him.”_

“We’re, um … we’re actually meeting his older brother and his boyfriend on Friday.”

_“Saturday, then.”_

Wei Wuxian hesitated. _He_ wanted nothing more than for his favourite people to meet, but he wasn’t sure how Lan Zhan would feel about it. Maybe one outing per week was his limit? “One sec. Let me check if he’s free.” He muted the call, and looked at Lan Zhan. “Um. Lan Zhan. Wen Qing is wondering if we’d like to come over for dinner Saturday night. What do you think? You can say no, that’s totally cool.”

Lan Zhan smiled a little. “I’d like that.”

Wei Wuxian grinned. “Yeah?” He picked up the phone again. “Yeah, sure, we’d love to.” He lowered his voice. “And, um, nothing too spicy, okay?”

_“Aaaw, look at who’s finally decided to make some sacrifices when it comes to flavour.”_ She laughed a little. _"_ _Don’t worry, the rest of us wanna be able to eat it, too, so your boyfriend’s safe.”_

_Your boyfriend._ Wei Wuxian smiled. He liked the sound of that.

***

Wei Wuxian spent so much of the rest of the week worrying about making sure that Lan Zhan would be comfortable come Saturday that he forgot about being nervous himself, all the way up until they stood outside the door to Lan Xichen’s and his boyfriend’s apartment.

Wei Wuxian hadn’t mentioned his encounter with Lan Xichen to Lan Zhan. Not that it was that big of a deal – it was obvious that Lan Xichen had only said what he’d said because he cared about his brother. And either way, things had worked out okay in the end, hadn’t they? Wei Wuxian was pretty confident he’d done the right thing, for once. Still, he felt the need to hold on to Lan Zhan’s hand for emotional support.

The heartfelt smile on Lan Xichen’s face as he opened the door seemed to confirm Wei Wuxian’s hopes.

“Wei Wuxian. Wangji. Please come in.” He stepped to the side.

Inside the apartment, there was an amazing warm smell of spices, noodles and meat – it seemed that Lan Zhan had informed them of Wei Wuxian’s food preferences, too.

Lan Xichen led them to the kitchen, where a guy in an apron was busy preparing the food. “Wei Wuxian, this is Meng Yao – A-Yao, Wei Wuxian.”

The guy greeted him with a warm smile that revealed two deep dimples, and he wiped his hand on the apron before offering it to him. “Nice to meet you. The food’s almost ready, why don’t you all sit down? Can I get you something to drink? Lan Wangji, just water?”

“Mm.”

“And Wei Wuxian, maybe some wine?” 

Wei Wuxian liked him already. “Yeah, thanks.” 

Lan Xichen got some water for himself and Lan Zhan, while Meng Yao grabbed a bottle of white from the fridge and poured Wei Wuxian and himself two glasses. 

“Glad I’ll finally have a drinking partner,” Meng Yao said. “Not that I don’t _totally_ respect your choice to refrain from alcohol,” he added to the other two. With a theatre whisper he added to Wei Wuxian, “It’s better for all of us that way, trust me.” Lan Xichen just smiled.

Looking at Lan Zhan, Wei Wuxian grinned and said, “I can imagine,” at which Lan Zhan’s ears turned red. It was so adorable that Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but lean closer and kiss him. 

Only after did Wei Wuxian realize Lan Zhan probably didn’t appreciate PDA in front of his brother, but as he leaned back, there was a small smile on Lan Zhan’s lips, and Lan Xichen was smiling approvingly, too. It made Wei Wuxian think of Shijie – she’d always been his biggest supporter, too.

He distracted himself by taking a sip of wine, and asking, “So, how did you two meet?” 

“Through a mutual friend in college,” Lan Xichen answered. “Maybe you know of him – Nie Mingjue? You know his brother, right?”

Wei Wuxian nodded.

“You’re being too nice, as always,” Meng Yao said as he put the food on the table. “It actually involved me trying out for the fencing club trying to prove something to said mutual acquaintance, and failing miserably. Vice captain Lan only let me join because he took pity on me.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” Lan Xichen said, looking at Meng Yao with a soft gaze. “With enough practice and focus, I still think you could’ve become really great.”

He flashed his dimples. “You’re lying, but I appreciate the flattery.” Turning his gaze to Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan, he said, “But speaking of beginnings, I’m curious about _you_ two _._ How did you finally end up together?”

A glimpse of panic flashed behind Lan Zhan’s eyes, while Wei Wuxian just laughed and said, “Oh, you know, I’m a bit slow – 15 years is usually how long it takes for me to get the gist of things.” And honestly, where was the lie?

“Well, better late than never, right?” Lan Xichen said with a warm smile.

Wei Wuxian nodded and glanced at Lan Zhan, who took his hand under the table, and all of a sudden Wei Wuxian felt all soft and mushy inside. Yeah, better late than never, but he couldn’t believe that in a parallel universe, he could’ve had _this_ for the last 15 years.

But as Lan Zhan continued to struggle with eating and drinking with just one hand, and still refused to let go with the other one, Wei Wuxian realized how dumb it was to be jealous of another version of himself, when he himself had this, right here, right now.

***

When Meng Yao was busy preparing the dessert, and Lan Zhan had excused himself to go to the bathroom, Lan Xichen took Wei Wuxian to the side, which made Wei Wuxian’s stomach turn into a knot.

“Wei Wuxian,” Lan Xichen said, his voice low. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for our last meeting.”

“Oh, it’s alright,” Wei Wuxian said, relieved he wasn’t in for another scolding, but also too embarrassed to be able to deal with an apology.

“No, it’s not. I realized I was too harsh on you. After all, a relationship is not made up by just one person, and I know that Wangji was equally responsible for the situation. I just … I just really didn’t want to see him hurt, you know? I hope you can understand that?”

“Of course!” Wei Wuxian said. Hesitatingly, he added, “Really, don’t think about it – he’s lucky to have you looking out for him.”

Lan Xichen smiled. “He’s lucky to have you, too. I’m really glad things seem to have worked out between you two.” He patted Wei Wuxian on the shoulder, before returning to the kitchen to help out Meng Yao.

***

After the dessert, Meng Yao suggested that they’d play a game.

“Yeah, sure!” Wei Wuxian said. “What’ve you got?”

Meng Yao opened a cupboard to reveal a selection of different board games.

“Oh, Pictionary!” Wei Wuxian said. “Or no, wait, Charades!” He _really_ wanted to see Lan Zhan act out … well, anything really. Sadly, based on Lan Zhan’s facial expression, they’d probably need alcohol for that to happen. “Oh, how about Monopoly?” Wei Wuxian suggested when he saw the box at the back of the cupboard – he’d always loved playing that as a kid.

Unexpectedly, Lan Zhan cleared his throat in a way that Wei Wuxian couldn’t quite decipher, but it made Meng Yao blush and glare at Lan Xichen.

“You _told_ him?” Meng Yao said.

“I … he saw the roses, I couldn’t exactly lie, could I?”

Wei Wuxian looked at them with a confused look. He had wondered what the roses had been for – he had found it hard to believe that Lan Xichen would ever do something that needed such an extreme gesture – but he hadn’t wanted to seem nosy, so he hadn’t asked Lan Zhan.

Lan Xichen saw Wei Wuxian’s confusion, and smiled, a little embarrassed. “Sorry. Um, Pictionary sounded good, right?”

“Yes, great,” Meng Yao said with a forced smile. “More wine, Wei Wuxian? I’ll get another bottle.” He got to his feet before Wei Wuxian had the chance to answer, and went back to the kitchen. Lan Xichen smiled apologetically and followed.

Wei Wuxian turned to Lan Zhan. “Okay, what have I missed?”

Lan Zhan lowered his voice. “It seems that Meng Yao is still trying to deny he cheated his way to victory last time.”

Wei Wuxian burst out laughing, trying to fit this surprising vice with the polite man they’d just had dinner with. “What? How?”

“Apparently, he was stealing streets and hotels from the bank the entire time when they weren’t looking, and they only noticed when they were packing away the game. He denies it, though. Nie Mingjue did not take it well – he and Meng Yao still aren’t speaking.” 

“God, I wish I could’ve seen that.” He paused. “But wait, if Meng Yao was the one who cheated, why did Lan Xichen buy the roses?”

Lan Zhan rolled his eyes. “Because Meng Yao felt that my brother betrayed him when he wouldn’t stand up for him and say that he had not cheated, even though he clearly had. So the flowers were for taking Nie Mingjue’s side, or he’d be sleeping on the sofa for at least a week.”

“Wow. Suddenly you and I seem like such a mature and well-adapted couple, don’t we?”

Lan Zhan’s earlobes turned red. “Couple?”

Wei Wuxian smirked. “We’ve literally said we love each other and want to be together forever. Are you now telling me you don’t wanna be my boyfriend?”

Lan Zhan quickly shook his head. “No! Of course not! I’d … I’d love to be your boyfriend!” he said, as if he was scared Wei Wuxian would’ve gotten the wrong idea.

Wei Wuxian elbowed him. “Good. ‘Cause I’ve already ordered us matching couples t-shirts, and it’d be so awkward if I was the only one wearing it.” Lan Zhan rolled his eyes. “You think I’m kidding? I’m dead serious. And you’re gonna use it – I paid them with your hard-earned money.”

Lan Zhan gave him a look. “Was that why you asked to borrow my card?”

“Yeah. Don’t worry, I’ll pay you back in kind.” Wei Wuxian kissed him on the cheek, and the red spread from Lan Zhan’s earlobes to the entire ear.

As their two hosts returned, Wei Wuxian bit down a grin.

Meng Yao forced a smile. “I see that Lan Wangji has filled you in,” he said with a strained voice. “In my defence, I really thought those streets were mi–”

“Don’t worry about it,” Wei Wuxian laughed. “I’ve got the Monopoly Cheaters Edition. I’ll bring it next time, and you can put those skills to real use.”

Much to Wei Wuxian’s delight, both Lan Zhan and Lan Xichen were absolutely horrified hearing this. “Why would you break the rules on _purpose?”_ Lan Xichen exclaimed, while Lan Zhan had that same judgmental look on his face he’d had for most of high school.

Meng Yao, on the other hand, just smiled politely. “I see you won’t believe me either. But by all means, please bring it. I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it after a while.” His smile twisted just a little, and Wei Wuxian realized he might finally have met his match. 

Oh, it was _on._

***

“Okay, so Wen Ning can be a little shy, and Wen Qing a little reserved, but they’re both really amazing, and you’re gonna _love_ A-Yuan,” Wei Wuxian said as they walked up the stairs to the Wens’ apartment. “Just don’t bring up their relatives and you’ll be fine. Except for their grandma, that’s okay, she really is the sweetest. And if you’re nervous, I can totally do the talking, just give me a sign, like pull your earlobe or something, okay?”

“It’s going to be _fine,_ Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan said with a smile, and Wei Wuxian realized that maybe he was the one who was nervous, and not Lan Zhan.

“Oh. Right.”

He could hear his heart beating in his ears as he pressed the doorbell. He wasn’t even sure why he was feeling this way.

As the door opened, Wen Qing welcomed them with a smile. “Hi! You must be Lan Wangji?” she said. “I’m Wen Qing, and this is my younger brother A-Ning and our nephew A-Yuan.”

“Nice to meet you all,” Lan Zhan smiled and shook their hands. Wei Wuxian felt weirdly proud of him (not _just_ because of the politeness, but because he was so _stupid_ hot, especially when he smiled – Wei Wuxian felt like walking around, pointing at him with big gestures and shouting to everyone in the vicinity, _THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND!!!_ Hm. Maybe he needed to borrow Lan Zhan’s card again – that would look _great_ on a t-shirt).

“I’m so glad we’re finally getting the chance to meet you,” Wen Qing said. “Wei Ying has been talking non-stop about you these last few months.”

“Months?” Wei Wuxian said, confused. This had only been going on for a few weeks?

Lan Zhan just smiled. “Hm?”

“Yeah,” A-Yuan said. “He hasn’t shut up about this stupidly well-dressed and well-behaved co-worker of his, who all the girls at work for some reason have a crush on and all the guy-hmpf –”

Wei Wuxian covered A-Yuan’s mouth with his hand and said a little too loudly, “Wow, it _sure_ smells good from the kitchen! I’m starving, let’s eat!”

Hm. Maybe Wei Wuxian _had_ been slightly obsessed with Lan Zhan before this, come to think of it, but there was no reason for Lan Zhan to know about that. 

He walked towards the kitchen, knowing that the rest of them would follow. Glancing back, he could see that Lan Zhan and Wen Qing were exchanging knowing looks and … _smirks?_ Oh, no – if he let this continue, by the end of the night, Lan Zhan would know every single embarrassing thing Wei Wuxian had ever done in the last eight years, and Wen Qing about everything _before_ that. He quickly made his way between them, hooking arms with them both and started talking about the first thing that came to his mind, which happened to be the superiority of potatoes over radishes, and didn’t they agree?

Wen Ning showed them to the table and offered them drinks before he started serving them. He had his regular worried look on his face as they tried the food, which tasted of absolutely nothing, as per usual. Oh, and it turned out he’d made a beef and radish stew. Just Wei Wuxian’s luck. He saved it with a “But radishes really are number two on the list of most awesome vegetables, so great choice!”

“This is really good,” Lan Zhan said after having chewed and swallowed and wiped his mouth with a napkin. Wei Wuxian honestly couldn’t tell whether he was lying, or if he actually enjoyed food that was this bland. It kinda made him miss mind-reading.

“Really?” Wen Ning said, not convinced.

“It’s very tasty, uncle,” A-Yuan said with an encouraging smile.

“Yes, very!” Wen Qing nodded in agreement. 

Hm. Maybe Wen Ning wasn’t actually a bad cook, maybe his food just wasn’t for Wei Wuxian.

A-Yuan gave Wei Wuxian a look that was clearly supposed to say something, and after a second or two, Wei Wuxian connected the dots. “Yeah, delicious, Wen Ning, great job!” he said, his mouth full of food, and put a supportive arm around him (which had a strange effect on Lan Zhan’s facial features, for some reason).

Only when they all had certified that it was good did Wen Ning finally seem to believe them and was able to relax and enjoy the food himself.

“So, Lan Wangji,” Wen Qing asked. “What is it actually that you guys do at your company? I’ve asked Wei Ying several times, but the only answer I get is customer data, which means nothing to me.”

“I mean, it’s all in the name,” Wei Wuxian said to defend himself. “What else do you want?”

“We develop software for educational purposes,” Lan Zhan said with a polite smile. “Courseware, classroom aids, assessment tools, and gamification, to name a few.”

“Oh,” she said. “See, Wei Ying? That’s an answer that at least makes half-sense.” 

“Right,” Wei Wuxian retorted. “Please _do_ tell us what gamification is.”

She rolled her eyes at him, and turned back to Lan Zhan. “Fine. Maybe that’s not really my area of expertise. Is that something you’re using at your school?” she asked her nephew, who looked at the table and shook his head.

“How come?” Lan Zhan asked A-Yuan.

“Um. I think it’s due to the school’s budget,” A-Yuan said, a bit embarrassed – with Wen Qing trying to support three people with her wages, they couldn’t exactly afford to live in an area with the best schools. Wei Wuxian tried to help whenever he could, but he wasn’t really swimming in cash, either.

“Well, it doesn’t really matter anyway when you’re as smart as you, right?” Wei Wuxian said, ruffling A-Yuan’s hair.

“Wei Ying is right,” Lan Zhan said to him. “What matters most is that you work hard.” 

A-Yuan was blushing, but he nodded.

“Or,” Wei Wuxian said, “if that fails, you can always get a rich partner.” He winked at Lan Zhan.

“Wei Ying!” Lan Zhan and Wen Qing echoed.

“I’m joking, I’m joking.” Winking again, he said, “All that matters is that they’re hot.” 

Lan Zhan and Wen Qing both rolled their eyes, but Wei Wuxian didn’t really care – the mission had succeeded, and A-Yuan was smiling again.

“I hope he’s not like this at work?” Wen Qing asked Lan Zhan.

Lan Zhan shook his head. “Oh, no, Wei Ying is one of our most trusted and hard-working colleagues. And in all seriousness, I do think that his talents are wasted in customer data.”

Now it was Wei Wuxian’s turn to roll his eyes. “You’re just saying that ‘cause you like my sweet –” he was interrupted by a death glare from Wen Qing “– uh, tunes. Yeah, I have some killer playlists on KuGou.”

“I’m really not,” Lan Zhan insisted. He took a breath. “Actually, I have been meaning to tell you – the board has been thinking of new ways of continuing to develop our services, and we plan on starting a new project combining virtual and augmented reality and artificial intelligence. Based on what I’ve seen you do, I think you’d be perfect for spearheading it.”

Wei Wuxian felt his cheeks grow hot. That _did_ sound immensely more interesting than what he was currently doing, but there was no way he was qualified for something like that. “What, based on some random notes scattered over my floor that I hadn’t vacuumed for several weeks?”

“Well, that, and what you did with our cloud solution and security system after the crash.”

Oh, god. Did that mean he knew about the coffee incident, too? “Um. That wasn’t …”

Lan Zhan raised his eyebrows. “You didn’t honestly think I’d believe that Wen Chao did it, did you?” Then he seemed to remember the other people around the table and his lips tightened.

“It’s okay,” Wen Qing said with a smile before Lan Zhan had time to concoct what would probably have been the most eloquent apology in the history of mankind. “Despite what Wei Ying might’ve said, we can handle hearing his name. Especially when you’re trash-talking him – feel free to do it even more.”

“As long as you don’t think we’re anything like him,” A-Yuan said.

When Lan Zhan had accepted they weren’t going to exile him, he smiled at the boy. “Don’t worry. I might not know you that well, but it is clear that you are definitely not.”

A-Yuan smiled, and they started talking about the best study methods and what A-Yuan’s hopes for college were, and Lan Zhan listened and gave thoughtful advice the way only he could.

Okay, if Wei Wuxian hadn’t been in love with Lan Zhan before that, he would’ve been by now. Hanguang-Jun – beautiful, intelligent, _and_ great with kids? Be still, my beating heart.

Wei Wuxian felt something stir inside him as an image popped up in front of his eyes. It was him and Lan Zhan, in a country cottage, surrounded by hens, bunnies, a donkey, and a chubby little toddler, waving its arms in the air for Lan Zhan to pick them up.

Hm. He hadn’t even been aware that was something he wanted (especially not the donkey, but now he wouldn’t do without it), but for some reason it just felt _right._

And as he looked at the people in front of him, he realized that this felt right, too – somehow, as naturally as if it had been meant to be, his group of three favourite people had just expanded to four.

***

“Admit it,” Wei Wuxian said as they were walking home in the night.

“Mm-mm,” Lan Zhan answered.

“Come on, I know what I saw!”

“You were mistaken.”

“Na-ah.” 

He was met with silence.

Wei Wuxian pressed on. “Whenever I hugged Wen Ning tonight, there was a look in your eyes, don’t deny it – you were jealous.”

“Ridiculous,” Lan Zhan muttered, much like in their high school days.

“Yeah, it _is_ ridiculous,” Wei Wuxian grinned, “since he’s like my baby brother. Still, I gotta admit – you being all territorial is kinda hot.”

Lan Zhan’s earlobes were all red. He didn’t say anything, but it was clear that he was thinking something. Once again, it made Wei Wuxian miss the mind-reading a little bit.

“What are you thinking?” he teased. Lan Zhan refused to answer. “Okay, then I’ll just have to guess, don’t I? _Wei Wuxian, you shouldn’t hug people if you don’t mean anything with it. As a matter of fact, you should just hug me. All the time. We shouldn’t even leave my apartment, ever, just stay in bed and … hug.”_ He winked at Lan Zhan. “Am I right?”

The redness that had spread to Lan Zhan’s neck told Wei Wuxian he’d been close enough. Wei Wuxian intertwined his fingers with Lan Zhan’s. 

“I’ll make you a deal, how about that? Everytime I hug someone else, I’ll hug you twice.”

“Ridiculous,” Lan Zhan just repeated.

“Okay, that’s not good enough, I get it. Then everytime I hug someone else, I’ll …” He raised his head and let the tip of his tongue touch Lan Zhan’s neck, which made Lan Zhan’s breath catch. Ugh. He even _tasted_ good – sweet and just a little bit salty.

Lan Zhan didn’t say anything, but the grip around Wei Wuxian’s hand tightened, and before Wei Wuxian knew it, he found himself pushed against the wall of a building.

“That a yes?” Wei Wuxian asked, one of his eyebrows raised. He was a little out of breath.

“Mm,” Lan Zhan murmured, lips on his neck. The sound vibrated against Wei Wuxian’s skin, sending tickles along his spine.

“Huh. Guess I’ll –” he moaned as Lan Zhan started using his teeth “– have to start hugging a lot more people a _lot_ more frequently.”

“Hmpf,” Lan Zhan said, and pulled him into the secluded alleyway behind them.

***

“Looks like I forgot my earbuds at Wen Qing’s place,” Wei Wuxian said later that night, reading the text she’d sent, as he and Lan Zhan sat (well, lay, in Wei Wuxian’s case) on Lan Zhan’s sofa. “Guess I’ll have to swing by there tomorrow. You wanna join? We can make a trip down short-term memory lane, and stop by that alleyway again,” he teased, pushing Lan Zhan’s leg with his foot. “Honestly, I did _not_ think that would’ve been on the list of your fantasies, but you keep surprising me.”

Lan Zhan blushed and closed his eyes – it seemed he himself had been equally surprised. “Is it alright if I don’t?” he asked after a while, voice low. “I was looking forward to spending the day at home.” He sounded almost ashamed at this.

“Of course,” Wei Wuxian said, scooching closer. “We don’t have to spend every second together just because we’re dating, you know.”

“I know, but I _want_ to,” Lan Zhan said. “It’s just … meeting people two nights in a row made me really tired,” he admitted.

Wei Wuxian smiled a little, and kissed Lan Zhan on the cheek. “If you need some alone time, that’s totally fine. I know that’s something you introverts allegedly need a lot of. I’m not saying I _understand_ it, but it’s fine. I promise I’ll survive on my own.”

“Mm?”

“Cross my heart.” Wei Wuxian rested his head on Lan Zhan’s shoulder. “I like _you,_ Lan Zhan, not the perfect facade you sometimes put on.”

“Really?” Lan Zhan asked in a small voice.

“Yes, really. I honestly prefer it when you show that you’re human – it makes me feel like less of a failure,” he laughed.

Lan Zhan was quiet for a while, before saying, “You’re not a failure, Wei Ying,” and Wei Wuxian remembered he was able to see right through all of Wei Wuxian’s self-deprecating jokes. “You’re not,” he insisted, when Wei Wuxian only responded by making a face. “You’re one of the strongest people I know. After everything you’ve been through, you still manage to laugh and have a positive outlook on life.” Lan Zhan brushed Wei Wuxian’s hair away from his forehead. “I really admire that about you.” 

Wei Wuxian had to hide his face in the crook of Lan Zhan’s neck. “Thanks,” he mumbled.

Lan Zhan paused again, before adding, “And I was serious before, about that position at work. I really think you’d be great for it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes.” He looked at him. “Would you be interested? In that case, I could mention your name at the next board meeting.”

Wei Wuxian bit at his lip. “Can I have some time to think about it?”

Lan Zhan smiled. “Of course. Take all the time you need.”

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. This isn't set in the US, nor China, nor Japan, but in a made-up Anglo-Asian world, kinda lika in Big Hero 6, because I didn't want it to be too Western and completely ignore the source material, but I also don't know enough about Chinese culture to feel like I could write something in a modern-day setting that was believable.
> 
> 2\. I no longer remember what's from the novel and what's from the live action show, so this is basically just my favourite things from both. Kudos to anyone who catches all the references to these works.
> 
> 3\. Lan Zhan is three months younger than Wei Ying and skipped a grade in this AU, because of plot purposes, and also because it's very Lan Zhan.


End file.
